Please tell me this is just...
a bad dream! Unfortunately, my body tells me otherwise. The events of last night are not even describable because for most of it I just did what I had to do in my sleep. The details are not that clear. What I do know is that Ash is going need a new central line so we will be heading to the OR at some point today.
Ashley has insomnia from that nasty med I had hoped to keep her away from. Along with the insomnia she is trying to claw herself out of her own skin. Too bad for her that she has many, many things attatched to that skin she would like to claw off. The results of her side effects add up to this:
6 Ostomy changes from 12a.m to 7a.m = very raw, sore, painful skin on an already sore tummy around an already inflamed bowel.
1 self removal of a central line = 12 new scars from removing the sutures in one mighty yank, a nasty, seeping wound from the areas of skin that came off along with the sutures, a peripheral IV in her left hand OUCH!, and a new trip to the OR.
3 broken nails on mommy's hands from all the bag changes = an unkept, yucky looking mommy
2 exhausted girls on the brink of tears = a very grumpy mommy toward all those who keep coming in to poke her for blood sugars. I finally sent them out and said, "NO more. I will deal with who ever I must, but it is enough."
Add all of this up and you will get a very tired, disappointed, frustrated, wanting to go home mommy and baby. Lord, please help us to get through the rest of today because I am pretty sure we have already done some damage with our attitudes. Please give us rest and strength. Please restore Ash so that we might go back home. Please equip us to accept how ever you choose to answer these requests.
We could definitely use your prayers. I had to apologize to my nurse for being so grumpy and short with her and I am feeling the need to apologize to a few others as well. I am not receiving "visitors" very politely this morning. We just completed our 5th night of very little rest and it is catching up with us both. Take care. Trish
posted by Ashley @ 8:56 AM
37 Comments:
So sorry to hear about your tough night! Know that we are praying for you and Ashley and the rest of your family today. We love you.
prayers are with you both today! I wish I could do more...Colleen
I've torn into a nurse/blood draw person a few times myself. My experience is that they understand. Each time I've offered an apology it has been met with a sincere smile and the assurance that they'd feel the same in our shoes. Anyone in your position might feel and react much the same way. We'll pray for some good rest and moments to get you thru this experience. Love and hugs from Longview!
It is thrilling, in spite of the rather eventful night you had, that Ash is beginning to heal. The same God who is healing her will give you the strength you need as you continue to climb your mountain and hope in Him. Praying you can catch a few zzzz's sometime today, but that you will find complete REST in Him.
I'm praying for you both! Especially that you can get some rest and that Ashley will get some relief from those side effects. May God carry you through this time.
Praying for strength, peace, and SLEEP for you!
God will equip you, keep the faith!
ange
OMGosh! I am so sorry you had such a rough night! I am keeping you and Ashley in my prayers today....all day long, as always!
I 100% agree with Morgy's Mama...the nurses will understand! Goodness they all must know you by now and know your true nature!
Hang in there today Trish I pray for Ashley's recovery and for you and Ashley to go home to be with your family! God Bless you!
I've certainly never been through anything remotely like what you're going through, but I have had my share of "bad attitude" days. And I can say that 100% of the times I've asked the Lord to remove my bad attitude and replace it with His grace, love, and peace, He has answered with a resounding "Yes!" I will ask on your behalf for God to replace your (perfectly understandable) grumpies with an attitude of love, peace and joy. Be ready to claim it! :)
I'm so sorry to hear of the rotten night you had; I'm praying for the Lord to go ahead of you today and smooth out your way.
Your earlier post with the scripture about rejoicing made me think. I was thinking about it being encouraging (despite what a difficult night it was for both of you!) that she's fighting this so hard. Does it mean some of her energy and strength are returning? You sure wound up having tribulation last night! Now that it's over may you both have rest and know that we're praying for you today. I'm sure everyone understands you being grumpy.
Trish we truly understand the thing with everyone running in all hours of night and day and i give you glory for standing up. Sorry to hear you and A shley had a bad night i will pray that even though she has to go back to the or today that YOU and HER havea better day and night. We are leaving now just had to check in one last time on THE GHERKIN and YOU and see if any new post before we left to go out of town.
Bless your hearts - we are praying for both of you! May God bless you, protect you, and provide for you...Sunshine
Continued prayers for you and Ashley this morning. I am so sorry you had such a tough night. Grumpy mommy is so understandable at this point. Asking God to give you His peace and His strength today, and that Ashley will be touched by His hand and get relief from all alergic reactions. I pray you both get the much needed rest you so desperately need today, and lots of it. God bless you both today with His Peace.
Laurie in Ca.
Praying for a day of much needed rest! You deserve to be cranky! I know you hate to see Ashley having side effects from the meds...but at least she is able to fight!
Praying always..Mistie
Trish, please realize that those nurses recognize your exhaustion and that both you and Ashley "are running on fumes!" Just for today, let your Father and your prayer warriors hold you up. We are here and God is not pacing about His throne wondering what to do next.
"The righteous cry and the LORD heareth and delivereth them from all their troubles." Psalm 34:17
We are praying.
Susan
Oh no. I am so sorry to hear about your night. I am praying for some good rest and healing. I wish I could be there to help so at least you could get some rest Trish. (((hugs))) Chan
You are handling these things so much better than I could. There is a reason God chose you as her mommy! You are doing a great job and You know we are Praying for all of you ! I so wish we could do more to help! Hang in there girls--
Praying both you and Ashley feel God's mighty and powerful arms wrapped around you today.
Blessings to you,
Shannon
You are such a light even through your pain. When any other mom would be outright losing it, there you are still striving to be everything God has called you to be.
You are an inspiration and a blessing and an amazing woman! I have been blessed reading your story and I am praying for you and Ashley! I truly hope you both get some refreshing rest today!
Praying for you! It's when we no longer have any strength left that our Lord picks us up and carries us. His grace is sufficient. {{hugs}}
I am praying that rest will come for Ash and yourself today...I'm so sorry "that" drug has this horrible effect on her. I will pray for you constantly throughout the day...for you and the pickle. The way you speak of the awesome care you receive there I know that none of those nurses are taking your "attitude" personally today....They know your exhausted. And you deserve to be crabby...I personally would have lost it a long time ago.......:) God Bless
You need sleep! I don't know how you are supposed to get any, but at least keep in mind that you are exhausted and hopefully the staff (who are probably coming in and out of the hospital at regular intervals and going home and getting sleep) can give you some room and some understanding if you are short with them. I am not saying we aren't responsible as believers to manifest Christ to the world, only that you are a human being, and He who was also a human being for 33 years understands what you are going through. Don't be too hard on yourself. Praying for that little one. And for you.
Praying without ceasing.
thank you for your transparency through this whole ordeal. I've loved seeing your "raw" faith. I'm praying for your entire family and that you see God's grace even in the ugly moments of bad attitudes....Laura
That little pickle! She sure knows what she wants, doesn't she? I am so sorry you are having to go through this...Praying hard for both of you as well as the rest of the crew! I remember as well, being not so nice to my doctors when I was stuck in the hospital to grow some twins...I always felt bad...they always understood!!
My heart aches for the two of you. Please know that prayers and thoughts are with you and the reat of the family. Praying God will put his loving hand upon Ashley and give her earthly healing. God Bless.
Attention Praying Bloggers:
Sounds like we need another all night prayer session. If you would like to commit to a certain time tonight to pray for Ash & Trish , please email me @
prayforash@yahoo.com
Love,
A praying blogger
You are so very real. I would want to apologise too, but they understand. Take a deep breath and go forward. You are loved and you have much on your plate.
Prayers,
Heidi
ps you've kept it together longer than anyone I've ever known! Forgive yourself too my dear. You are doing awesome!
:)
I wish I could come help you out! I'm praying, for you and for Ashley.
Lord, I lift this family to You. Make Your heavenly presence known in a restful, pleasing way, I pray. In Jesus' name. Amen.
I'm sure you are nothing of the bear I would be, Trish. Hang in there.
I hope you are both sleeping this day away...praying...
Praying the rest of your day goes better. Poor Ashley, she must be so tired.
Praying that you can feel the arms of Jesus around you today comforting you and giving you the strength you need to make it through these days. I pray somehow that soon that nasty drug can be stopped and poor Ashley can sleep. I pray for the Doctors that the Lord would give them wisdom to treat Ashley. Please do not feel bad for being grumpy. I think that is to be expected. I love your attitude though of wanting to apolgoize. Many people would leave the nurse hanging. Know I love your baby and you! Praying, praying, praying on your behalf daily. I am so sorry you had a terrible night.
Love to you!
Shari
I don't know how I found your blog, but I am praying for you and your daughter daily. We have adopted a baby from China with many medical issues( we requested this) and are facing many, many surgeries. We have just made it through our first hospital stay and I can totally relate to all the things you have said in your last few posts, especially being short with the nurses from lack of sleep!
I know the Lord will grace you for today and as you wait upon Him, He will renew your strength!
I am praying for your family...it was strange, I went to the grocery store this morning and saw a little girl and her Mommy. The little girl looked so much like your daughter, I just began to pray for her.
Standing in prayer in Colorado!
Holly
Are you sure that you are journaling about the same Ashley that is sitting up in her crib with a bow in her hair?!?! It just couldn't be - she looks way too cute and innocent in the picture!
I am so sorry that you had a rough night. You are both being held in prayer.
Lou Ann
Trish,
Heard a song that a middle schooler wrote about that "nasty drug" and it is actually pretty funny (and witty!). You can hear it (and other songs she wrote if you want) at http://hvf.wikidot.com/haley-s-music
Praying for no more nights like last night (and that maybe the song will make you smile) and that the central line placement goes well. Take care.
((Trish)) I was doing my Bible study for today and one of the verses struck me, and I immidiately thought of you. I felt the need to share it with you, I hope it helps some.
Psalm 30:5b- Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Praying for your entire family.
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