Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

12/12/2007

Wisdom and Understanding

...better is it to gain wisdom rather than gold and to choose understanding over silver.
Proverbs 16:16


I may never have any of the above, but I can honestly say that I would choose wisdom and understanding over all the riches of the world. Of course the silver and gold would make this time in our lives a little easier, but to have wisdom as we make tough decisions for our sweet Ashley Kate and our family would bring peace to my heart. To have any amount of understanding at this time in her life would surely bring peace. To have the ability to explain His plan for Ash to Blake and Allie on the tough days and to help them understand would be a huge help. To be honest Dave and I are confused about the course of Ashley's life so how do we help our children understand when we don't understand ourselves. It's easy for us to say that we believe God has a plan for her life, but how do I convince a heartbroken nine year old or a protective twelve year old? We are adults and our faith trembles during the hard times. Surely their young hearts question.

Blake and Al approach Ash and her disabilities and struggles very differently. Blake is her protector as he should be. We don't discuss her therapy, her handicaps, her delays in front of him. It causes him to become very defensive. He does not want anyone to focus on what she can't do, but rather he reminds us all that she is loved exactly as she is. She is enough for him and my heart loves him for that. Allison Brooke cries and cries over the things that Ash doesn't do. Especially at night. When she sees other babies crawling or walking it makes her sad. When she hears her friends talk about their little brothers and sisters she gets sad. She doesn't understand why Ashley Kate can't do those things. "Just teach her mommy." I don't blame her for not getting it. Dave and I don't get it either. We work just as hard with Ash as other parents do with their special needs children, and we will keep working with her. Understanding? There is none.

All I know to do is cling to my belief that the Father has a plan. Even without wisdom and understanding, silver and gold, I know that God created Ashley Kate just as she is. He gave her life not once, but twice and that reassures me that He is working. Ash amazes me daily. I see His wonderful works each time I look at her. She reminds me of His goodness.

Allie is missing Ash tonight. She is sad that she can't hold her and that brought on a flood of questions and tears. I want to bring Ashley Kate home to her for Christmas. I want her to have the opportunity to hold her as much and as long as she would like. I think it would do her heart good. I hope tomorrows appointment brings us good news. Dave and I desperately want our family to be back together. We all need that. Tonight my sister reminded me, "He hears our prayers, Trish. Just keep praying. He is listening." I pray we are headed home soon.

20 Comments:

At 11:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dropping by and praying for you tonight. I do hope that you and Ashley are beginning to fight off that old nasty cold. I also am lifting Alli up to the Lord....I can just hear her little cry. That breaks my heart. Continuing to pray for you dream to come true...Longview for Christmas! Have a restful night!

 
At 11:41 PM , Blogger CrownLaidDown said...

He not only is listening, but also He is working on your behalf and your family's. The Smiths are going to be praying all day tomorrow for a good word to bring you home for Christmas.
Love,
Holly

 
At 1:22 AM , Blogger Joyful Days said...

Praying for you both to be home with your sweet family.

 
At 1:55 AM , Anonymous Vicky said...

Praying that you and Ashley will be home for Christmas!  Also praying for Blake and Allie tonight.  They sound like AMAZING older siblings.  They have more wisdom and understanding then many people twice their age.  I am praying that God continues to use Ashley to grow their faith.  Thank you again Trish for sharing these glimpses into your family.  The faith and maturity that Blake and Allie display are evidence of some pretty amazing parents. The strength and unconditional love that Ashley displays are evidence of parents who are always by her side fighting along with her.
Oh, also praying that her output goes back down-- we need more happy faces! :)

 
At 4:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trish, Praying that today you hear the sweet words..You Can Go Home For Christmas!!!!!! God Bless..Karen

 
At 5:36 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying
Beth

 
At 8:48 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prayers for you all, we think of you always - I try to remember that 'His way are not our ways' and that His are SO much better.... We dont have to agree with His ways, but we do have submit to them. :) Love you so much Trish - your family has been used in So many ways to teach me/my family about what is important. YOur family's sacrifices have opened eyes/doors/windows for people you will never see face to face.

All our Love,

David, Heidi, JoHann, Bjorn Freeberg

 
At 9:16 AM , Blogger camille said...

You have such sweet children. Whenever I read about Allie and Blake I'm always amazed at the maturity, sensitivity, wisdom, and goodness that they show.

I'm praying you can go home for Christmas. Thinking of you today...

 
At 9:21 AM , Blogger Laurie said...

Continuing to pray you girls home for Christmas Trish. Praying for Blake and Allie too, that the Lord would protect and guard their hearts. You do have wisdom and it is so evident in your words Trish. It is not a feeling but a truth in your heart. Praying for an amazing appointment today with good news as Ashley continues to heal inside. May peace and comfort surround you today, reassuring you that God is right in the middle of all that is going on, He will not let you down.

Love and Prayers,
Laurie in Ca.

 
At 9:29 AM , Anonymous Jule White said...

He knows our hearts ~ and for that I am forever thankful. Praying for todays appointments and for good news. Praying for precious Allie and asking the Lord to hold her extra tight. Continuing to pray for the entire family.

I am hopeful for good news today Trish. I hope that you and Ash are feeling better and she can show those doctors how good she is doing. Thanks for sharing.

Love, Jule White

 
At 10:14 AM , Blogger Sun said...

I pray that too! Sunshine

 
At 10:45 AM , Anonymous Kathleen said...

Praying for your family today!

 
At 10:45 AM , Blogger julie said...

Praying along side you.

 
At 11:54 AM , Blogger Elizabeth said...

I'm not sure what time your appointment is but I am praying right now. I pray that God gives your other two children the peace and understanding that they need to make it through this tough time. He will provide!
Praying for you in Idaho!
Love,
Elizabeth

 
At 5:00 PM , Blogger Shari's Page....... said...

Dropping by and sending you loads of love during this time. Know I am praying reguarly, everyday for your precious "lump" and you too, sweet lady. The Lord is listening to each and every prayer being sent up for you.

Blessings.

Shari

 
At 6:39 PM , Blogger Gretchen said...

Indeed, I'm praying you home soon, too. Cyber hugs to all the Adams kids. Must do a momma's heart good to see how much they love and protect each other. xxxoogretchen

 
At 7:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trish, I hope you and Ashley are feeling better tonight. Praying Ashleys appt went well today and you got your release for the holidays ok'd by the Doctors. Praying with you and for you..God Bless.Karen.

 
At 7:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying without ceasing. I know many of us are praying for a very specific Christmas miracle.

Kristi in Texas

 
At 7:58 PM , Anonymous purplefolderadventure.wordpress.com said...

Hear our prayers.
Praying in CT.
Heidi

 
At 7:28 AM , Anonymous prayer mom said...

I have rounded up the toups to pray for Ashley to go home for Christmas and for permanently. Tell Blake and Allie this extra Grandma loves them so very much, and I am praying for their hurting hearts. God sees their pain. He loves them so much and He is working on the problem.

 

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