Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

4/28/2008

Never grows old

No, I'm not referring to myself. I think a few photographs of myself taken over the last 2 and 1/2 years could quickly put that thought to rest.

The sound of "it". Those words spoken from the children. The gestures that they each show in order to convey it. My heart sings each day as the three of them announce how much they love us. They could say it or show it over and over and over and I KNOW it would never grow old. Since the first time Blake stated, "I wuv you" as a toddler, or the first time our Allie girl grabbed so tightly around my neck that I thought she would literally choke me, or the first time Ashley Kate reached out to me, brushed my arm with her hand, and leaned that little head to rest upon me in an effort to hug me my heart became sensitive to their acknowledgement of their feelings toward me. There is something about hearing those three little words coming out of the mouths of your children that feels so good.

This morning as I packed lunches Blake walked up behind me, placed his arm around my shoulder and said, "I love ya, mom". As Allie walked out the door she turned back around, ran up the walk and hugged me one more time then whispered, "I love you". Then as I checked on Ashley Kate(who had been moved to our bed sometime early this morning) she peeked open her eyes, squinted her nose, and smiled a smile so wide that I knew without a doubt she was telling how much she loved me. I covered her up, she closed her eyes tight, and while still smiling snuggled up under that comforter to go right back to sleep. Awake just long enough to say, "I love you mommy". I may never hear her audible voice again, but her eyes, her smile, her gestures toward us say it loud and clear. Our prayers were answered. She gives and receives love.

Their words have always been precious, but lately they have taken on such meaning to me. I'm just so sensitive toward the feelings they have in their hearts toward their Dad and I. Our time spent together has become so important. There is not another soul in this world that I would rather spend my time with. Blake, Allie, and Ashley are growing up. Quickly. Too quickly. Its really sad, but yet so fun at the same time. I am watching my little people become young people(at least two of them are. Our Ashley Kate is still a baby and she's almost three!). I don't know how many more days we have until they decide that loving mom and dad so much is no longer cool. I would like to think those days will never come, but I'm too smart for that. I've been there myself. I've watched my nieces and nephews go through that stage. I am now watching my friends children do the same thing. Oh, I know it doesn't last forever, but I don't look forward to the day when they realize we aren't that cool. For now I'm just gonna soak it up.

Our weekend was blessed. Lots of time spent together. Lots of fun memories. Ash looked good and felt even better. She began signing a couple of words and that was pretty exciting. Too bad the signs she picked up where actually things she has no interest in. Things like "apple". We just giggled and applauded knowing that she wouldn't take a bite of that apple for anything. She should have learned the sign for ball because all she plans on doing is throwing that apple across the room! Not too long ago someone had anonymously sent her a few books, and DVDs, and she loves them.

We met a few more of our blog readers on the ball field. That was exciting too. Its really fun to be sitting around and have people come up and introduce themselves to you. This weekend we had the privilege of meeting a seven year old named A.J. who knows all to well what living in the hospital feels like. He had the most amazing eyes I have ever seen! Absolutely beautiful. His mom brought tears to my eyes as she shared that she felt so much of what I write about. I could tell she meant it. She did understand and that encouraged my heart more than she will ever know. Thanks guys for making yourselves known to us.

Well, the weekend is over(for four days at least! Then we get to run away again for my birthday and another ball tournament) so I guess its time for the laundry, bed making, grocery shopping, and all that stuff. Hope you all have a great day. I'm off to get started. Take care. Trish

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