Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


Somedays it hurts

Its true. There is no getting around it. There are days when life hurts and it seems as though the hurt will never end. Tonight my heart is so burden for two sweet children, two amazing mommies, and two separated daddy's who walk the path that we too have walked. I do not know these families, but yet I do. I have never met them, but yet I feel as though we are connected. I read their words and my heart cries out , "I understand". I have never felt such pain as I have felt as I sat at the bedside of my sweet Ashley Kate and begged our Father to have mercy on her and to give her yet another breath, another moment, another day. It hurts beyond description as your heart pleads with the God of the universe and your eyes cry rivers of tears over the suffering of your child. My only comfort during those moments was the knowledge that He was there hearing my every word and collecting my every tear. Knowing that as my heart broke over the suffering of my child He understood because He too had suffered a broken heart over the suffering of His own.

I want to be an encouragement. I want to say to these precious hurting families that it will turn around and it will get better, but I hesitate because I don't know that it will. I can't promise them that they will leave those PICU's with their babies. I can't tell them that I will never return with mine. The truth is that I have cried rivers of tears over the loss of my friends children as I begged God for the life of mine. What do you say to a mommy who is tired, who is hurt, who is discouraged, who is desperate to hold and to help their child? All I know to say is, " I am praying. You don't know me, but I am praying for you, your child, your family. I care and I KNOW that He does too."

Some days it hurts. My Ashley is finally resting. She is sore and not feeling that good, but she is home and she is sleeping in her crib tonight. As I look on her amazing face and once again memorize the details that I love so very much I whisper a prayer of thanksgiving for this day that I was given with her. It has been a gift. Your prayers for two unnamed children and mommies would be greatly appreciated tonight. I more than anyone can tell you that it doesn't matter if I have ever met or ever will meet them, prayer will make a difference on their journey. Goodnight my sweet friends. What a difference your prayers have made on ours. Trish


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