Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


A long day

It was a long night, that led to a long day, that led to another long night. Its all running together in my mind as I battle the ugliest head cold I think I have ever had. I think its a combination of worry, stress, responsibility, lack of sleep, and the unknown. Roll that all up and it makes for a really, really long day. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.

Ash had periods throughout the day where I thought she perked up and looked better and then she would slip into a period where I thought she was slipping back to the way she looked when we brought her in. This evening her eyes are the area where I see that she just isn't herself. She's trying, but she just doesn't have what it takes to sparkle. She continues to stool out too much from her ostomy. Her urine has decreased, but her kidneys usually take a hit when she is dehydrated becasue her FK becomes concentrated in her system. Her electrolyte panel showed some improvement this evening, but she still has a little way to go. The numbers are closer to normal, but as long as she is "dumping" then she will continue to lose sodium and potassium and chloride and all of those things. Her stool culture came back negative for roto virus. I asked for two other common virus that seem to grab a hold of transplant patients to be sent off, but was told no. I'm still a little confused by the theory behind all of that but theres not much I can do about it. The plan is to wait this out and support her systems while her GI tract battles whatever it is she has picked up.

Dave is sleeping at the hospital with Ash tonight and I came on home to do homework and get uniforms ready with the kids. We just finished and the kids are now in bed. The biggest blessing about this admission is that we are in Longview. It is my hope and prayer that we get to stay here. Hospital life is more "doable" when we are close to home.

I would be lying if I told you I wasn't concerned about where this little virus could lead us. I know the reality, but still have hope that she just needs a little support for a few days.

Life would be much easier if I could actually breathe with this cold, but for some reason unknown to me it decided to show up last night as I watched over Ash. I could feel it coming on and by morning it was miserable. I have no idea how Blake has survived the past two weeks. He refuses to stop. He hasn't missed one day of school. He has attended every practice and played in every game, and I know his head has been throbbing just as much as mine has today. His determination and strength amazes me. I'm trying to learn from him, but I am miserable.

Well, its time to lay down and attempt to get some sleep. My heart is heavy and so is my head. I just pray that sleep comes for all of us. Dave on the couch at the hospital, Ash in a strange bed in a strange place, Blake with his cough, Allie with her broken heart over everything(although I know it started with Ashley being gone, and me with my wimpy approach to this miserable cold.

Tomorrows a new day. Praise God! I hope to bring our pickle home. Goodnight and thank you so very much for your prayers.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home