Hang On

Its always a bumpy ride in the life of transplant.

We are waiting on the flight crew to arrive in OKC(yes we are now in Oklahoma, long story will share later) and Ash and I are in the ER. It was decided that driving the additional 8 more hours would not be good for her, so we stopped of to visit an ER because she began vomiting and spiked a fever. She was also having trouble breathing. So, here we go again. I'm doing my best to hang on and keep it all together.

On top of the fear and worry that always accompany these times in Ash's life, I am struggling with a very heavy blanket of sadness. My heart is broken over the holiday. No tree, no lights, no gifts, no family, no magical trip for Ashley Kate. It will be the two of us for Christmas and the disappointment that resides within me is almost smothering. I am still trying not to believe this happenig.

In a few hours we will say good bye to the kids and leave them here with family.

There are still no answers as to why Ash is struggling. I hope to share more once we arrive sometime tonight. We will be stuck in the PICU because there are no rooms available anywhere else. Thanks for checking on us. Trish