Our old Ashley
What joy flooded my heart tonight as I listened to her giggle. Her smile still melts me and that twinkle in her eye that just shouts how happy she is captivates me. What a blessing it has been the last few days to see our old Ashley coming back to us. My sweet, sweet girl, the one who forgets and forgives so easily all that she has gone through. I love her. So very, very much.
It looks as though this might be the 3rd night in a row that she has slept well. After so many long months of struggle, of coughing, of gagging, of fevers, of vomiting she is getting a break. It keeps me awake at night. The sounds of peace. The gentle sounds of her breaths rather than the miserable, uncomfortable whimpering that I have listened to for so long. My sweet, sweet girl. I love her. So very, very much.
I can't help but be grateful for the good days we are stringing together. Again today she needed no IV fluids. Again no TPN. Full feedings flowing into her tummy and down through her bowel. Feverless days are wonderful. She is so alive and so very happy.
It was another silent day for my phone. No calls came in from Omaha. No news from pathology. Another day home with Ash. We are just so happy. Truly happy to be together. I love home.
Tonight I prayed that for sweet Emerson. Home. Where she belongs. With her brothers. I want it for her so very much. To grow up in her bedroom surrounded by all things girly rather than a hospital room. This is my prayer. She's been away for so long. I want her mom Erika to experience that feeling that comes over you the minute you carry your baby girl back through the front door. There are no words. When you have watched them fight for every breath and have kissed them good night over the cold metal bars of a hospital crib for months on end nothing in this world feels more welcoming then that first night home. Sweet Emerson, you can do this. I believe in you.
Thank you for praying for our friend. Your prayers are so appreciated. Good night. Trish