Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


I thought...

she was perking up. Yesterday started a little rough, then improved, then by bed time...went down hill.

As of yesterday afternoon she was scooting down the halls, unhooking feeding pumps, and causing her big brother and big sister all kinds of trouble as I attempted to get a quick nap. Lets just say the nap never happened because the littlest one of our crew is nothing but ornery! It was ok with me though because I really thought the worst was behind us. There was no vomiting, no fever, just a runny nose and a consistent little cough. Still we saw lots of smiles. I didn't even have to change her clothes more than once and after the pile of p.j.s she had gone through during the night I expected to be changing her all day long.

Then... last night it went down hill again. She vomited all night long. I have no idea where it is coming from. I'm too afraid to stop running feedings. She looks ok, she just can't keep anything down once it starts. I mean, she went from not one episode ALL DAY LONG yesterday to a night full of dirty sheets, blankets, p.j., towels, etc. You name it and I grabbed it last night in an attempt to clean it all up. Her nursery stinks so bad this morning. I will be doing laundry non stop. She needs a bath, but at this point she would have to live in the bath to keep clean. I'm exhausted. She's exhausted. Its been another LONG night. I ran down the hall more times than I can count through the night. I tried her in my bed, but she was too uncomfortable. She wanted her crib and so I kept the hall way warm as I would take off running at the first sounds of her stirring.

I just want this to stop. I'm praying its just a stomach bug, but then again "just a stomach bug" can rev up that immune system and cause big problems for transplanted organs. I HATE it when she's sick. Nothing is safe. Nothing feels right. Nothing.

Still no fever. No high stool output. A pink, moist stoma, and soft tummy. Those things tell me to calm down. Its ok. The grafts are safe. Right?

I've got basketball this afternoon, and Blake has hitting lessons tonight. Grandma will be sitting with Ash cleaning up after her. Its going to be a long day on little to no sleep. Dave has so much going on at work with the remodeling, the plan to move back in to the office this weekend and his regular schedule that he had to get some sleep. He moved out of our room by 10:00 last night to find a quiet place to sleep.

I think I'm going to stop her formula and replace it with a fluid bolus of 1/2 normal. I remember doing that once before when they saw her getting a little dry. Maybe the break from formula will give her tummy a chance to rest, but the fluid will allow her to stay hydrated? Yeah, thats what I think I'll do. I'm not worried about calories. She can go a few hours without them. I'm really hoping today settles down like it did yesterday. I would really like for her to at least get a break for the afternoon. So far this morning she's had 4 episodes of vomiting. :(


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