7 more hours

Things are crazy. They would not come in to take Ash down to surgery tonight. Instead they asked the fellow to try and re-wire her triple lumen. After 5 sticks she looked at me and said, "I think we've lost the vein. I'm sorry. She's already got a hematoma forming and its not going to be good."


This femoral vein was our best chance at getting a tunneled central line into her body. My heart is sick. The fellow's is too. I have no idea what is going to happen in the morning without this vein.

They quit trying, then placed 2 peripheral IVs into her foot. The same foot. She is screaming on the vent. Her eyes are crying and her mouth is screaming only there is nothing coming out because of the breathing tube. Ashley is can feel everything that is running into her tiny veins. Her peripheral veins are shot after continuous use. They are thin and fragile and horrible. You can see the pain on her face. They are trying everything to try and get her sedated, but nothing has worked yet.

I wish they would have come in tonight. I wish they would have made it happen. Instead we (3 of us) are standing by her bed holding her down and trying to manage tubing coming off of the 2 IVs so that she doesn't get them pulled out. She is scheduled for surgery at 6am.

Pray that a permanent solution is found while she is down there. I don't have any idea how they are even going to get her sedated enough to endure the procedure. I don't know that they will even find a vein to get into. I have to sign consent for them to attempt a hepatic line that will be tunneled through her transplanted liver. Her very, sick transplanted liver. In case nothing else can be found. I'm a nervous wreck. We have 7 more hours to get through. Then we have the procedure itself and the recovery.

7 more hours of watching her silent screams. My heart is sick.