Good Night, Sleep Tight

Good night from our Ashley to all who are checking in on her. We are hoping she decides to drift off to sleep sometime soon because she has been awake almost all day without a good nap. She is just too busy being her awnry little self. As long as she is allowed to rip off my face and pull my hair then she is a happy girl. She is full of fun tonight. I am just so thankful that she has the energy to cause trouble. She is still coughing and sneezing and makeing a mess of her tiny little nose. We probably will not know what is going on inside of her for a couple of days. We are praying it is just a little head cold and that it does not develop into anything else.

Today I have been thanking the Father for allowing me to be at this place and time in my life. We have prayed for Ashley for more than 13 years and honestly there were times in our life that I would wonder if we would ever be given a baby. So many nights I would ask Dave when he thought if ever we would have the opportunity to parent another child. He would calmly reply ,"If it is God's will, then it will happen in His time." I am so thankful that He works in His own time and not mine. I know that I would not have been the person I am today and would not have been able to do the things I do with Ash if it had happened any sooner in my life. He waited until He knew we were ready as a family, and I was a ready as a mommy. His timing was perfect. I have watched so many children spend their days alone in this and several other hospitals over the last 14 months, and I am grateful that He has made it possible for me to never leave our Ashley alone. My heart breaks for the little ones whose mommy's for whatever reason are not here holding them through the most difficult of days. If God had given me a child on my own time table and not His then it probably would not have been possible for me to be here the way that I am now. He just shows me again and again that His perfect will is worth waiting for. The hardest thing I ever did was ask for His perfect will in Ashley's life and not my selfish will. I loved her before I ever knew her, I wanted her regardless of what anyone said, but I knew that He needed to be the One to make her mine. Night after night I shed more tears than you could imagine as I searched with a willing heart and waited for Him to make a way for our daughter to become our daughter. I will forever be thankful that He allowed me to be her mom. I will forever be thankful to those who knew and prayed for our family to become whole with our sweet Ashley in it.

Tonight I see and feel His goodness in my life and in the life of my husband, my Blake, my Allison, and my Ashley. I know that He is taking care of us all as we lay our heads down to rest. I feel His hand on my youngest daughter as she continues to heal. I know He is real and I know He loves us. I know that He loves you too. Good night and sleep tight.