Today's Emotions

We made it!! What a crazy day. How many emotions can I possible experience in one day?

This morning it was fatigue and not wanting to get out of bed. Then it was the

normalcy of a work day. My fist phone call with Trish brought concern. This

concern was temporarily interrupted by amazement. Amazement at the generosity of

others. Someone had stopped by my office and brought and absolutely beautiful Christmas

present to my family. I know that Trish will love this gift and the time and effort put into it.

The second phone call brought a fear of loss that cannot be explained in words. If you

have lost a child or been faced with it you know this feeling. This call was followed by a

feeling of helplessness. I am the man and it is my job to fix things. I can't fix this and

I feel so helpless when I am 700 miles away. I can't jump in the car and run over to be with

Trish and Ash. Helplessness was followed by the anxiety of trying to get so much

accomplished in such a short time. Do I close the office? How do I notify my patients? How

will they respond to me up and leaving again? Which bills have to be paid before I leave

town? Do I take the kids? What do I tell them? Will Ashley be alive when we get there? What

about all my plans for tomorrow? Should I make the kids miss their Christmas party

tomorrow? What is going on? Can I even get tickets? What about a rental car? Is there a faster

way to get there? Anxiety was followed by trust.

Shortly after I received the second phone call from Trish I was in my office seeing a new

patient. I was certainly not in the right mindset to be overly helpful to this individual. My

head was not focused on this person but rather on the life and death of my child. After

recognizing that I was not able to provide the quality of service I wanted for this person I

knew I had to take him to another office. This is where trust came in. I trust Dr. Lipkin. I

know he will take great care of my patients when I cannot. I drove this new patient to Dr.

Lipkin's office and trusted him to provide the services this individual needed. This

friendship and trust in Dr. Lipkin allowed me to get on to the panic of getting so

much done in such a short time.

I needed to get someone to help me out with something I had planned to go to a meeting

tomorrow morning. I called someone I have just recently met and asked her to fill in for me

and hand out some things I wanted to give to the members of this group. She agreed and

took a box of things to her house. I was met with the warmest smile. After explaining why I

was leaving and what I needed done she agreed to help with willingness to help in any way

needed. But just as I was leaving she gave me a hug. A hug full of compassion. It was

genuine and truly showed how much she cared. And truth be told I really needed it. It helped

calm me down. At least for a bit.

I ran back to my office and tried to tie up so loose ends before leaving. Someone from my

church came in to bring presents from our Sunday School class to our family. This brought a

feeling of humbleness. It is so humbling to me to see all that so many people are doing

for my family. God is using so many people in so many ways to minister to us. We are

learning so much about how God uses His people to support us. There was some more

feelings of anxiety and craziness as I ran around trying to get things in order to leave so

abruptly. Sometime around now I got to the airport and was taken great care of by Dawn.

She gets us where we need to go when we need to go. There is some more feelings

thankfulness for her being there for my family when we need to get to Omaha. At this point I

am going through security and meeting my favorite people. Yup, the TSA guys. Based on my

history with these guys you would think my next emotions would be irritation and

frustration, but I am happy to report they didn't mess with me one bit today. The

worst thing that happened was that my name showed up on the NO FLY list. You know with a

name like David Adams I do sound pretty suspicious. But this was nothing my favorite

American Airlines employee Dawn couldn't take care of.

We got to Dallas and planned on making a quick connection to leave for Omaha at 6:15. I

didn't check any luggage because I wanted to be flexible enough to make the earlier flight.

Upon landing I did experience some irritation. I really believe the flight crew missed

the turn because we ended up taxi-ing around each and every terminal. I had never seen this

happen before. I know we crossed from East to West and from West to East and back East to

West. The only reason to this is if you miss it the first time. So, we didn't make the 6:15.

The next flight is 9:05. This gave us about 2 1/2 hours to go get some real food. At this time

we were all begin to experience the feeling of hunger. I'm not sure that qualifies as an

emotion, but that's ok, it will tonight. We rode the skylink and walked on the moving

sidewalks and while do this I felt happy, joy, happy, happy and joy as I

watched my Blake and Allie take pleasure in the skyling, escalators and moving sidewalks. I

love to watch those two enjoying themselves. We had a wonderful dinner at T.G.I.F.'s and if

my hunger was an emotion then so to must be my fullness. Why not? We made it to our

flight and we all got settled in. Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. They told us we

would be leaving late. The 9:05 was delayed to 9:14. OK no big deal waiting, waiting,

waiting, waiting, what's going on, waiting, waiting, ok let's go, waiting, waiting,

announcement " we are waiting for some more passengers who have not yet shown up"

waiting, waiting, irritated, waiting, waiting, waiting, annoyed, waiting, waiting,

waiting, waiting. Close the doors alright progress, waiting, waiting, waiting, open the door

and let two people on, waiting, waiting, waiting, another announcement " we are still

waiting on more passengers" waiting, waiting, waiting, man I wish these guys were flying

that 6:15 flight, maybe they would have waited for us, waiting, waiting, waiting,

announcement "OK we will be departing now" Well good, because I was begging to believe

that we were waiting for all the seats to fill up. OK time for another emotion, relief. The

waiting is over let us get going. The kids both fell asleep on the flight and I watched them

sleep and felt proud. Proud to be their dad. They are really great kids and God blessed us

with them. Made it to Omaha, got the rental care, drove to hospital walked in and saw

Trish. I am not sure what you call that emotion. When you are apart for so long and try to

maintain a marriage and family long distance there is some unique emotion that comes with

being reunited. I don't know what it is called, I just know that it feels really good. A hug can

say so much more than words sometimes. I got to see Ash and she looks good to me. She

doesn't move and doesn't know I am hear, but after wondering if she would be alive upon my

arrival there was a peaceful feeling to see her. Gratefulness and praise to God

for giving us another day with our Gherkin. Humbleness for all the faithful prayers you

send up for our family. Thank you Lord for the Grace you give us.

And finally now I feel pain in my wrist. I have never typed this much at one time in my

life.

Thank you for lifting up my family and Ash in your prayers today.

Goodnight or Morning?

DAVE