Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

12/20/2006

Today's Emotions

We made it!! What a crazy day. How many emotions can I possible experience in one day?
This morning it was fatigue and not wanting to get out of bed. Then it was the
normalcy of a work day. My fist phone call with Trish brought concern. This
concern was temporarily interrupted by amazement. Amazement at the generosity of
others. Someone had stopped by my office and brought and absolutely beautiful Christmas
present to my family. I know that Trish will love this gift and the time and effort put into it.
The second phone call brought a fear of loss that cannot be explained in words. If you
have lost a child or been faced with it you know this feeling. This call was followed by a
feeling of helplessness. I am the man and it is my job to fix things. I can't fix this and
I feel so helpless when I am 700 miles away. I can't jump in the car and run over to be with
Trish and Ash. Helplessness was followed by the anxiety of trying to get so much
accomplished in such a short time. Do I close the office? How do I notify my patients? How
will they respond to me up and leaving again? Which bills have to be paid before I leave
town? Do I take the kids? What do I tell them? Will Ashley be alive when we get there? What
about all my plans for tomorrow? Should I make the kids miss their Christmas party
tomorrow? What is going on? Can I even get tickets? What about a rental car? Is there a faster
way to get there? Anxiety was followed by trust.
Shortly after I received the second phone call from Trish I was in my office seeing a new
patient. I was certainly not in the right mindset to be overly helpful to this individual. My
head was not focused on this person but rather on the life and death of my child. After
recognizing that I was not able to provide the quality of service I wanted for this person I
knew I had to take him to another office. This is where trust came in. I trust Dr. Lipkin. I
know he will take great care of my patients when I cannot. I drove this new patient to Dr.
Lipkin's office and trusted him to provide the services this individual needed. This
friendship and trust in Dr. Lipkin allowed me to get on to the panic of getting so
much done in such a short time.
I needed to get someone to help me out with something I had planned to go to a meeting
tomorrow morning. I called someone I have just recently met and asked her to fill in for me
and hand out some things I wanted to give to the members of this group. She agreed and
took a box of things to her house. I was met with the warmest smile. After explaining why I
was leaving and what I needed done she agreed to help with willingness to help in any way
needed. But just as I was leaving she gave me a hug. A hug full of compassion. It was
genuine and truly showed how much she cared. And truth be told I really needed it. It helped
calm me down. At least for a bit.
I ran back to my office and tried to tie up so loose ends before leaving. Someone from my
church came in to bring presents from our Sunday School class to our family. This brought a
feeling of humbleness. It is so humbling to me to see all that so many people are doing
for my family. God is using so many people in so many ways to minister to us. We are
learning so much about how God uses His people to support us. There was some more
feelings of anxiety and craziness as I ran around trying to get things in order to leave so
abruptly. Sometime around now I got to the airport and was taken great care of by Dawn.
She gets us where we need to go when we need to go. There is some more feelings
thankfulness for her being there for my family when we need to get to Omaha. At this point I
am going through security and meeting my favorite people. Yup, the TSA guys. Based on my
history with these guys you would think my next emotions would be irritation and
frustration, but I am happy to report they didn't mess with me one bit today. The
worst thing that happened was that my name showed up on the NO FLY list. You know with a
name like David Adams I do sound pretty suspicious. But this was nothing my favorite
American Airlines employee Dawn couldn't take care of.
We got to Dallas and planned on making a quick connection to leave for Omaha at 6:15. I
didn't check any luggage because I wanted to be flexible enough to make the earlier flight.
Upon landing I did experience some irritation. I really believe the flight crew missed
the turn because we ended up taxi-ing around each and every terminal. I had never seen this
happen before. I know we crossed from East to West and from West to East and back East to
West. The only reason to this is if you miss it the first time. So, we didn't make the 6:15.
The next flight is 9:05. This gave us about 2 1/2 hours to go get some real food. At this time
we were all begin to experience the feeling of hunger. I'm not sure that qualifies as an
emotion, but that's ok, it will tonight. We rode the skylink and walked on the moving
sidewalks and while do this I felt happy, joy, happy, happy and joy as I
watched my Blake and Allie take pleasure in the skyling, escalators and moving sidewalks. I
love to watch those two enjoying themselves. We had a wonderful dinner at T.G.I.F.'s and if
my hunger was an emotion then so to must be my fullness. Why not? We made it to our
flight and we all got settled in. Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. They told us we
would be leaving late. The 9:05 was delayed to 9:14. OK no big deal waiting, waiting,
waiting, waiting, what's going on, waiting, waiting, ok let's go, waiting, waiting,
announcement " we are waiting for some more passengers who have not yet shown up"
waiting, waiting, irritated, waiting, waiting, waiting, annoyed, waiting, waiting,
waiting, waiting. Close the doors alright progress, waiting, waiting, waiting, open the door
and let two people on, waiting, waiting, waiting, another announcement " we are still
waiting on more passengers" waiting, waiting, waiting, man I wish these guys were flying
that 6:15 flight, maybe they would have waited for us, waiting, waiting, waiting,
announcement "OK we will be departing now" Well good, because I was begging to believe
that we were waiting for all the seats to fill up. OK time for another emotion, relief. The
waiting is over let us get going. The kids both fell asleep on the flight and I watched them
sleep and felt proud. Proud to be their dad. They are really great kids and God blessed us
with them. Made it to Omaha, got the rental care, drove to hospital walked in and saw
Trish. I am not sure what you call that emotion. When you are apart for so long and try to
maintain a marriage and family long distance there is some unique emotion that comes with
being reunited. I don't know what it is called, I just know that it feels really good. A hug can
say so much more than words sometimes. I got to see Ash and she looks good to me. She
doesn't move and doesn't know I am hear, but after wondering if she would be alive upon my
arrival there was a peaceful feeling to see her. Gratefulness and praise to God
for giving us another day with our Gherkin. Humbleness for all the faithful prayers you
send up for our family. Thank you Lord for the Grace you give us.
And finally now I feel pain in my wrist. I have never typed this much at one time in my
life.
Thank you for lifting up my family and Ash in your prayers today.
Goodnight or Morning?
DAVE

9 Comments:

At 5:27 AM , Blogger BendingPeak said...

Thankful you all made it safely. And thankful Ash was peacefully present when you arrived. I'll be praying for your visit and for Ashley's life.

 
At 7:24 AM , Anonymous Janiece Baldwin said...

So thankful to read your post Dave. The last time I checked was about 10 minutes before you wrote it. I had so wanted to know you and the kids made the trip safely before I went to bed. I, along with so many, many people had been praying all day for all of you. Right now I continue to pray for all of you for all the emotions that are going on within each one of you. May God give you courage that can only come from Him. May He give strength that can only come from Him. May He give you wisdom that can only come from Him. May He give you peace that can only come from Him. May He draw you near and hold you in a special way so that you know it only comes from Him. God grant you trust, faith and hope that can only come from Him. May He fill your hearts with love and may your family grow even closer together.

We ask you Lord to give traveling mercies today to Glenda and Bobbie as they travel to be with their children and grandchildren.

I pray that You, oh Lord, will give them all assurance that You are in control and right there in the midst of all that is going on with Ashley. Fill them with your glorious mercy and may Your perfect will be done....Thank You Jesus, for Your undying faithfulness to us in all things. In Your precious name I pray...Amen

 
At 7:35 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so happy and thankful all of you are there together.I know you has such a trying day yesterday.
It's in our weakness that God seems to make us stronger.Hope all of you had a somewhat peaceful
night.I will be thinking and praying for your family today.

 
At 7:39 AM , Blogger Kathie Brown said...

Dave,I loved your post. I could see your wacky personality shining through. I am glad you and the kids made it safely to Omaha and were reunited with Trish and Ashley. Give them a hug from us. Praying for showers of blessings for your family.

 
At 7:51 AM , Anonymous T Worley said...

I had to share this with you. I get one via email every day...

"Fishing for a Promise"
While on a fishing trip, nine miles offshore in the Gulf of Mexico, I caught a promise!
Maybe I missed the part in science class about migratory birds flying over large bodies of water enroute to their winter homes. Nonetheless, I got a refresher course when a tiny brown bird with green trimmed wings and a crimson spot on top of its head, found a resting place on the fishing rod I was using. Sitting a few inches above the reel, our eyes met momentarily, and we both wondered what we should do next. Savoring the moment, I remained very quiet and still (and missed a nibble from a real fish), while my feathered visitor rested from his long journey. As my little friend flew away I was reminded about how much this experience was like the ministry Jesus provides the believer. He is my resting place when I am weary from life. No matter the time or place, wherever I may be, Jesus is there to provide a strong branch upon which I may rest my weary soul.

GospeLines Prayer: Precious Lord, when I am weary You are the branch which appears from nowhere. You call me to rest upon You when times are troubled and even when they are not. Thank you for the times when my journey seems unbearable, I can perch upon your promise and find rest within my soul. Amen and amen.
Tommy Harrison, D. Min.
tommy@gospelines.com

Keep your eyes on the promise and know that you are not alone.

 
At 7:54 AM , Anonymous Suzanne said...

I am so happy that you are all together. Thanking God for keeping your travel safe....Praying for continued healing of Ashley. Praying for the kids to enjoy your time together ....for God to help them understand the changes in Ash. I will check on you guys this afternoon. praying...

 
At 8:58 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Continue to pray for God's Hands to protect Ashley and am ever so thankful that Dave, Trish, Blake, Allie and Ashley are all together this morning. It is our prayer that He will bless your time together and provide you with a miracle for Christmas.

 
At 10:25 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I received this prayer in my email today and immediately thought of your family:

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite
possibilities
that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content
knowing you are a child of God. Let His presence settle into your
bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is
there for each and every one of us.

 
At 12:26 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

So grateful to hear that you are again reunited, and continuing to pray without ceasing for your entire family. May God indeed bless and keep you very close today.

 

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