Enough
Tonight as I sit and watch my Ashley try to sleep through her discomfort a thousand things run through my head. I don't know the answers to the many questions that I have, but I have decided that it is "enough" for me to know that the Father does.
I cannot bring healing to my daughter, but it is enough to know that He can.
I do not know when she will breathe again on her own, but it is enough for now to see the ventilator breathe for her.
I have no idea when she will wake up to play again, but it is enough to have her here with me.
I don't know if she will ever walk or run, but it is enough to see her smile.
I don't know if she will ever talk, but it is enough to hear her sweet voice say, "Mama".
I don't know what tomorrow holds for her, but it is enough to have her here tonight.
I have no idea when I will be able to hold her again, but it is enough to have her precious fingers to hang on to.
I don't know how long it will be until I can rock her , but it is enough to be able to sing her to sleep.
I don't know what the future holds for my Ashley, but it is enough for me to take it one day at a time.
I have no idea if we will ever make it back home, but it is enough to have that hope to hang on to.
To see her next to me, to smell her hair, to touch her face, to hold her hand, to kiss her little toes, to tell her how much I love her it is "enough". To know that He gave me another day with her, it is enough. To have the opportunity to pray for her another night, it is enough. To still be her mommy, it is enough. I came so close to losing my youngest daughter and the thought of living without her was destroying me. I had to find a way to make it all ok in my mind. Knowing that there is another who loves her even more than I do is enough for me to make it through another day.
Good night from the PICU. As I read through your encouraging words my heart is blessed by you. Thank you from inside the deepest parts of me for loving her. When I run out of words to pray it is enough to know that you are there doing it for me.
posted by Ashley @ 9:35 PM
19 Comments:
I will be praying for you tonight to get a good nights sleep.
Beautifully written. Having the love of God can make amazing things happen...I will pray for your family and your beautiful little girl.
Many many many many many prayers have gone up for you through this here in the Truitt household! I'm so glad it sounds like everyone is coming to see you - that relieves me tremendously! Trish, your heart is tender and sweet and I couldn't be more proud of Ashley. I know you wouldn't want to leave Ashley's side for a second, but please get some rest right there by her and please give her a kiss from me. I sure wish I could be with her some more. I'll check back on you soon.
I'm visiting from Kelli's blog...and I will be praying for your sweet little girl. And for you...
(((HUGS))) and may the Lord cover you all with His love.
You are such an amazing person Trish....even in the deepest valleys when you feel you are the weakest....you inspire. God must smile down on you often. You, your sweet family, your FAITH, your humbleness, your sweet children... are such a gift from GOD. (= I am thankful that you are Ashleys mom....I don't know many strong enough ....Faithful enough...to endure all that you have ....& with such grace. Even at your times of exhaustion...mentally...physically...spiritually..... You encourage others.....teach others.. God has given you a gift...Your an AMAZING mom. I think of you & your journey & my problems seem to disappear.....they seem so minor. Especially...touching was your comment: " I don't know if she will ever walk or run, but it is enough to see her smile." I think I needed to hear that in application to my situation too with Josh. Thank you. I am praying for you & your family & safe travel for each of them as well..... & for healing for Ash. Many Hugs ....much Love....& prayers prayers.....prayers.... GOD IS GOOD!!! (=
This is a beautiful post, very touching. You are on my prayer list and in my thoughts.
I am leaving you with a (((HUG)))...
That was beautiful and absolutely true. Stand on that promise and He will comfort and hold you. I will pray words of healing and comfort for both of you all night long. God bless you.
Just want you to know that your family is in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
Your post has brought tears to my eyes. I will pray for sweet Ashley tonight.
Praying for your sweetie....
Your words are sweet music to my soul. May God bless that baby of yours. May He be ever glorified.
Trish,
I am so grateful to know Ash is such a fighter. She has your spirit and I pray you both a good nights rest. She knows how much you love her and oh what a blessing it is to have that.
When God provides, I would love to be there with you again. (If you would want the company.) I hate the thought of you being there without one of us.
For now, I pray God lets you feel His presence and peace. I love you both and continue to pray for you Ash, Dave, Blake and Allie. Good night.
Toni
How wonderful your words are and encouraging for me to hear. Ash is a fighter, just like you Trish. Praying now and always. Hoping that you rested well. God is with you and he intercedes for you. He knows your heart even when you cannot tell him. Thank you Lord for such a wonderful person that you chose to be Ash's Mommy. Thank you Trish for your faith and inspriation.
We continue to pray for your sweet baby Ashley and for the Adams family as you wait for just what God has instore for her. May you feel His love today and in the days ahead. God Bless You ALL!
I'm seeing prayer requests for Ashley everywhere I go, Trish. Please take comfort in knowing we have both of you covered in prayer.
Trish, praying that you will continue to find a resting place in the Rock of Ages...knowing that He is able to do more than you can imagine and trusting that He will. Our thoughts, prayers and hopes are with you and your family.
Ashley, be strong and keep fighting. Your mom is simply amazing...inspirational...a woman of faith. God knew you would need someone like her by your side.
I will be praying for you, your sweet little girl and your family!
Trish ~
Last night I had a family member read your previous post out loud to me... as I was on the couch with a bug. As he read it everyone in the room fell silent. Your family has touched our lives in ways too numerous to count. Last night when he finished reading we all just looked at one another... and then at Morgan, who is our little miracle. Sometimes it's easy to take little things for granted that I never thought I would... God uses Ashley's gift of life to remind me not to.
I remember the day that I said "it's enough"... it's the day EVERYTHING began to turn around for us. I cannot imagine all that He has planned for each of you... but I am so hopeful.
Enough is such a powerful word. There are times I go back to it and all it means...not more than...not lacking but rather more than we could ever ask or imagine...enough.
I love to see the Father at work in this world and through this precious blog I have seen a glimpse of that. How miraculous that he has touched your little one again...I know his hand is ever upon her - she is held close to his heart. But in the midst of the turmoil a precious gem is coming to life in her mother too. A beautiful transformation and refining of a life that can come only through the fires of tremendous heartache. Thank you - that in the midst of agony you can turn your face and the faces of others to the one who holds us all. May you be blessed today. May your heart find rest in the Father's embrace.
Your yoke is so heavy - His burden is light - may He carry you.
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