Grace Extended
The definition of grace as I understand it is: unmerited favor. Given not because it is earned or deserved, but because of the love He has for us.
Because I myself am a recipient of grace I am able to extend it to others (WHETHER IT IS DESERVED OR NOT). I am struggling. Although my spirit knows I am to extend grace to others, my flesh is hurt and defensive. If you only had a clue, a small glimpse into the strength and character of the man my children are blessed to call their dad, and that I am blessed to call not only my husband, but my friend then you would be ashamed of your comment toward him. If nothing else I hope that once you saw it in print that you would be ashamed to use my baby's journal, her story, her life as a means to attack any member of her family, at least of all her daddy.
Because of the hurt I felt over this personal attack of my husband, I called my sister to see what perspective she would help me to gain and this is the wisdom she shared.
Eph. 4:29-32
29 Let no corrupt communications proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it my minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed by to the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
I will attempt to respond to this post following those guidelines. Forgive me if I stray, it is because of this mans heart and willingness to open it to others that my sweet Ashley Kate has a family to call her own. It is because of the spirit and humor God gave this man that I am able to wake and continue this journey for another day. It is because of the strength and security God allows Dave to bring to our home that my family has not crumbled through this journey, but instead we have become stronger. If you feel the need to make a personal attack towards a member of this family, then I beg of you to attack me and not the ones I love.
While writing Ashley's journal I have always been aware that there would be those that use it as a source of drama, excitement and entertainment for themselves. That was never my intention. My intention was to plead for prayer on behalf of my child, sincere prayers from the hearts of those who the Father may bring to her story. I have taken on the same spirit and attitude towards this journal as I have towards our business. It is my prayer that God will bring those into our lives that we may minister to and that may minister back to us. Nothing more, nothing less. It is in His hands which patients walk through the doors of our office, and it is in His hands which people will be led to Ashley's Story. This journal is not written to entertain, it is real life, our life, the struggle for the life of one of our children. It is not rehearsed, it is not made up, is - is what it is. There are good days, there are bad days, there are days when we rejoice, there are days when it physically hurts to take another breath to watch my tiny baby struggle to survive.
I apologize if you and your family have not been ministered to properly, but the man you chose to attack has far too much integrity to respond or to ever mention the hurt you have caused. This is real life. Our baby has survived a triple organ transplant to this point, she has cancer, our family is separated by 700 miles at this time, my husband is successfully running a business that has been given to us by the Lord to make a difference in the lives of our patients. He is raising our two older children on his own in a home with a broken water line. No use of our kitchen sink, dishwasher, washing machine or a master bathroom, they have been washing the school uniforms in the kids bath tub! There is not enough time or enough daylight for it to be repaired because he is working in our office to support not one but two households. May I implore of you to rethink your statement toward him and try stepping in his shoes for one day.
If you feel the need to be negative or unkind towards us during this part of our journey, then my heart honestly breaks for you. My Ashley Kate will have a home, life, security, more love than one child can ever absorb, a hope, and a future because of the man God has equipped to be her daddy. Thank you for the time you and your family spent here on Ashley's Story and for any prayer offered on her behalf. If we are no longer able to minister to you, then I apologize and I pray you leave her journal having been blessed at some point along the way. May God bless you and your family who no longer choose to follow her story.
Sincerely,
Trish
posted by Ashley @ 6:19 PM
26 Comments:
They comment anonymously because they KNOW that they should be ashamed. You all are an inspiration. Each one of you. And I think this post was the most wonderful way to honor your husband for all that he is doing. The devil knows these are trying times and he is using every angle to bring you down. It's just not going to happen. Ya'll are being help up in prayer. I am constantly praying for your sweet Ashley Kate.
Many hugs your way,
Lacey - AL
I just had to come back & add that that made me so mad! But you handled it very well. Hope it doesn't discourage your husband from posting. He is a blessing.
Lacey
I will be praying for anonymous.
Jo
I have to tell you, you give me the ability to see Christ through you. Please know you are ministering to our family in ways I cannot even express. Especially when I read your most recent post. I feel as though this is the nicest response to someone I would have a VREY difficult time responding kindly to. I appreciate your family and all you do...Ashley Kate and her beautiful siblings are so blessed. As are we.
Whomever chose to leave that "comment" is the one (and their relatives) that is loosing out. Ashley (nor you her family)does need those kind in your lives. But, oh what inspiration you all are to me and all of your other prayer warriors (that includes you Trish, Dave, Blake and Allison).
If it takes every post to know each and every move Ash has and not wanting to hear of her whole family's trials and triumphs then perhaps they should stop following Ash's story. You all (Trish, Dave, Allison and Blake) are such a part of Ash's story. How blessed I am to be able to follow it every day whether I get a chance to post or not.
Oh and I'm still praying for you guys and for you too anonymous.
Great job Trish....... what an inspiration you and your family are!
Dave you are a real man (of God)! May more be like you!
PRAYING!
As a patient of your husband's, I enjoy reading his posts. His friendliness and humor (and skill) are one of the many reasons my family chose him for our chiropractor. Don't be discouraged by mean-spirited people. Your husband and your other children are also part of Ashley's story and we are thankful for his example of humor under very difficult times. Be proud of your family.
Trish and Dave,
I love reading your blog. I check it multiple times daily and I hope that you keep it up and do not allow some "anonymous" person to stop you from posting updates on each and every member of your family and friends.
I have learned so many lessons from you just be reading your words and today I have learned another. I can not imagine what it must have taken for you to handle that comment with such grace. You have proven yourself once again.
Thank you for your inspiration and loving words and I hope that the posts continue.
Love,
Amanda D. - AL
I am the prayer coordinator for my dear friend's speaking ministry and someone asked me about a month ago to visit your journal and pray for your baby and your family. I did at that time and I've been back here almost daily since. I've prayed for your family daily since as well. Now I will add "anon" to my prayer list also!
May the God who blessed you with the physical, emotional and financial means necessary to take care of that precious girl now in turn bless "anon" and use this journal - with all it's personalities - to draw every reader closer to Himself!
Your family is a blessing to me in spite of the enormous struggles you face literally minute by minute! Keep your focus on Christ dear ones! He is the source of your strength!
Thank you for daring to be so candid Dave! Your an inspiration to many!! Trish, you are an amazing example of what it means to walk by faith! YOU GO GIRL!
Love in Him-
Valarie
Trish, You are an amazing person-it is only with God's obvious strength that you could write such beautiful words to something so negative. I agree with lacey--the devil is always lurking around the corner to discourage people from sharing their Blessings from God. Whether you post, or Dave posts, or even someone else just posting updates, You will always be lifted up in Prayer and their will always be love for your little Ashley Kate and her family from the sincere people who have come to be a part of "Ashley's story". Giving updates is not ministering to people--it is the words that God lays on your heart to type and the love that your family portrays to each other -as well as the Blessings in little gherkins life that is the testimony of God our Father. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for loving your family enough to ask for Prayers on ALL of their behalf! Negative comments cannot be avoided when the devil starts to feel threatened! Have a good night--Praying for things to continue as they are so Ashley Kate Adams can return home to her family.
Man, I just got up to date on what's been going on...alot happens in just 24 hrs with you guys! The person who wrote that awful comment is just plain insensitive and mean...they even called Ashley "the baby", not even by her name, which goes to show that they don't feel the "bond" as the rest of us do. I love hearing from Dave....it makes me laugh and smile...something that everyone should try...I love hearing about all of you, especially how great Blake is in baseball...so cool. I love to see a kid play with heart...and being good on top of that is just the icing on the cake. I'm so happy to hear about you and Ash being in the apartment...YOU GO GIRLS!! Allie sounds like a a very cool girl too. Hope ya'll have a great night. Love from your home town!
Trish,
I love the fact that you handled the comment with grace abounding. I enjoy Dave's post. He is dealing with an enormous amount of "life" and still has a wonderful sense of humor. Gotta love that! It only comes from a very full and loving heart. We continue to lift you and your family up in prayer. In my mind's eye, I see God smiling down on you!
Karen
Once again you amaze me with your ability to let Jesus shine through you. Isn't grace absolutely amazing! I am so thankful that God supplies us with His grace. May our Heavenly Father continue to pour His love and His power over the Adams family....and remember for that one negative comment there are so many more of God's wonderful children lifting you up daily in their prayer time. That alone is so uplifting when I think of how many people Ashley's Story has reached out and touched and now they are hooked on following her story....the good and the bad....the funny and the sad. Thank you for allowing us to enter into your heart and soul.
Trish, I so understand every word of your post and the hurt you are feeling because as Dave's mom and Ash's grandma, my heart was broken also when I read the comment that was so negative. But, you know what? It didn't last long and I, too, began to pray for "anonymous" because I know one can't feel good inside when they're putting someone else down. Especially when it's unwarranted. I know David like you do and I know his heart and I think it's wonderful that God has blessed him to use that wonderful sense of humor to get through so many days when it gets so tough that he could just "lose it" due to the stress. I watch you and Dave and Blake and Allie EVERY DAY deal with such difficult circumstances and each one of you do it by leaning on Jesus Christ for your strength. I've seen Him become so much more real to each one of us in the family and I've seen such spiritual growth this past year and a half since Ashley has been with us. Trish, you handled your post with such grace and I know your heart is breaking for Dave, but rest assured that God has it all in His control and He will make sure that all continues to be well because you and Dave have remained so faithful. That faithfulness will be honored. Please know that I am continuously lifting you and Dave and all three kids up to our Father and He sees all, knows all, and blesses constantly without fail. Sleep peacefully and accept His precious healing. May "anonymous" gain spiritual growth through this experience as well. Love and Hugs, Grandma
Hi Trish, know one has to tell you i know . Dave is one of very few men that would take responsiblity like he has God bless him.
Yes, Trish I have never physically seen you. Although, like the others, I do know that I have seen Jesus in you..through and through. I hope that anonymous realizes that they have forced you to write yet another post that does not meet their expectations. Did they really expect "the comment" not to be addressed?
%99.9 of us do appreciate all aspects of your families story. The good, bad, ugly, & the funny!!! Thanks again Trish for yet another glimpse of Christ through this journal!!
April
You are a bigger person than I.
And an inspiration to many.
God bless you and yours.
I think your husband is funny & enjoy reading his blogs. (= You are such an amazing family who I have grown to pray for daily. Keep taking the high road. I have learned so much from your example on this journey. HUGS.....give a gentle one to your little princess. (= Love the Sanders
Trish,I am so proud of you and Dave! No matter who, or what, you are able to recognize "the ememy" (the one who we fight daily), and not take it out on people allowing themselves to be used by "him" to hurt you! Thank you for calling and being able to talk everything out before deciding to address the thoughtless "poster". Once again you gave it to God and allowed Him to be glorified in this painful situation. May He comfort you with His perfect peace and allow you to get some rest tonight with my beautiful niece, Love Kathy
Dave and Trish-
I am so sorry somebody had to write something that completely goes against the character Dave has most definitely displayed in this blog and for Ashley's story. I have to admit, it made me quite angry! Your story and your family has encouraged me, blessed me over and over, given me hope, and on and on and on. Please ignore that comment. I agree with the first comment here. They said it "anonymously" because they are ashamed and they should be!
Know they are many, many people who want to read all parts of your journal whether by you Trish, or Dave. I have grown to love your family and I heard about you through an email from a friend of mine who's relative is a nurse in the PICU in Omaha.
I am sorry the hurt they have caused. And everything you have written about Dave only proves his character more, Trish. He is definitely a man of integrity!
Know, I am always praying. Thinking about you. Checking on you so I know how to pray for your sweet Ashley and your precious family.
Love to you, my friends!
Shari
Eugene, Oregon
I did forget to add--I will be praying for 'anonymous' also.
Shari
Trish you are all amazing, but your response was astounding. Such love and grace!!!
Many lessons are being learned by many of us by reading your story, and this is just one more. Thank you!!!
Praying for Baby Ashley and the whole family. Your family is such a blessing to my heart. You handle the difficult times with such love for God I can see how much you to shine through him! Don't any of you stop being who you are you are a wonderful God filled family! ~ Chandria ~
What a beautifully written post from a wife edifying her husband.
As I "caught up" this morning...what goes thru my heart right now is that...Anonymous and their family weren't here at this journal for the right reasons...and maybe they will focus their attention elsewhere.
When I found this journal, I have been spiritually renewed reading the faithfullness and journey of your family. I have wept...and I have been taken to my knees in prayer for a family that I will never meet, know, and who will never even know me. That in itself is teaching me about my Savior. This is what He calls us as the Body of Christ to do~~intervene for one another. Focus on HIm...praying for others, unceasingly...and through that service to others...HE ministers to us.
I loved the verses shared by your sister. I'm going to write them down and remember them in my daily life. WOW...that applies to many things.
thanks for sharing.
That previous post was from Kristi in Texas. can't edit!
Well done Trish!
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