The Game is Over

The game is now over and the Tarheels won with a score of 12-9 in the top of the sixth. Yeah for our boys! I can't even begin to imagine just how many minutes we have used on our phones during this tourney, but I can't bare not being there with Blake as he plays in some way or another. I am so proud of the way he played this weekend. That kid is amazing and so are his team mates. I love those guys and they sure did deserve this win. Their first game this morning was at noon and then they played and won the next three in a row beginning at 4:00 and not ending until after 10:00. They played like champions and I am so glad they came out on top today. My Blake is exhausted and I am sure he is already sleeping as they make the 2 and half hour trip home. The long ride is so much sweeter with a trophy in your hand.

Ash has spent the day sleeping and she is still sleeping now. She woke up briefly this evening just long enough to make us all laugh as she spit and growled and talked to Blake and Allies pictures that hang on her wall. She got a fresh pair of jammies and out she went. She looks really good today, just tired and worn out from her last dose of chemo. She will probably have another sleepy day tomorrow and then we will begin week 3 on Tuesday. It seems as though the first half of the week after the dose she is grumpy and miserable with no sleep and then the last half all she can do is sleep. I am just thankful that this weeks brought no vomiting. I am praying that next week she will escape it again.

To say that I am a little excited about leaving some time tomorrow is an understatement, but at the same time I am a little scared too. The possibility of something happening and Ash taking a turn for the worse is very, very real and we will be 10 miles across town from the hospital. I hope I don't break my baby. I am terrified of doing something wrong. I know that if He gave this little one to me that He must believe that I am capable of figuring out how to take care of her, but sometimes I look at myself and wonder if He was really sure.

I keep telling all my friends (the nurses) how much they are going to miss us when we go and they just keep laughing at me. I know that they know we will more than likely return several times before we actually get to leave. I am just excited to make the initial break from the PICU all the way out of the hospital. Ash hasn't breathed outside air in 22 weeks. I can't wait for her to feel it on her puffy cheeks. I really am trying to be realistic and tell myself that we may not actually get out tomorrow, but this smile just keeps popping up on my face. I hope I will be able to sleep tonight.

What I know today is this: I really am living the life of my dreams. I really am blessed beyond measure. I really do have these three amazing kids that I wish you all could know. I really do have an incredibly handsome husband who loves me regardless of my gray hair and my wrinkles and my extra pounds. I really do have a wonderful life and beautiful baby girl who was handed to me by the Father that created her. As I lay down my head tonight and dream of the possibility of taking our first step toward home all I know is that I love my life.( and Tarheel Baseball!) Good night. Trish