Parable of the Talents
I have no time to waste. Not a single moment. He has given me, entrusted to me, one of His most valuable creations. When I stand before Him I want to know that I refused to "hide" my "talent" for fear of losing her. I want to know that I did everything to make her life full, rich, and well lived. I want there to be NO regrets.
Jesus told of a parable in the book of Matthew. There was a master who was going away. He called unto him 3 servants and handed them each some of his talents to manage in His absence. The first he handed 5, the second 2, and the third 1. When he returned the first servant showed the master that he had taken the 5 talents and doubled them for him. The second servant did the same. The third servant returned unto the master the 1 talent he had been given to manage and said he had buried the talent out of fear of losing it. To the first two servants the master answered, "Well done. I will make the ruler over many things." To the third servant the master said that he was wicked and lazy and he took the talent from him and gave it to the servant who had ten. Jesus goes on to say many other things about this parable in Matt. 25, but what spoke to me the most was the fear in the third servants heart. I do not want to be that servant. I want to know that I made the most, the absolute best that I could, of Ashley Kate's life.
Dave and I have made it no secret that we don't expect our sweet Ashley's life span to be the same as our Blake and Allison's. We have acknowledged that our time with her may be short. With that knowledge we feel the urging of the Holy Spirit to enjoy each moment, each day, each experience with her so that some day we can stand knowing that we loved her, we shared her, and we dedicated her unto Him. Because of this urging we also don't expect to attain perfect heatlh in her body before returning home with her. Our goals are more realistic than that. We want to achieve a safe place. Once we are there then we will work on TPN, feedings, replacements and the like. All of this can be done in our home, with our family, living life to the fullest extent possible. No regrets. Afternoons at the park, picnics by the pond, trips to the ocean, bike rides around the block, baseball games, Christmas with her cousins, and all the rest. This is our current prayer for our Ashley, a safe place.
This morning we are encouraged and a little disappointed. Encouraged becasue CT shows more resolution of the damage done to her bowel. Discouraged because it is not healed enough to begin feeding it. Encouraged because we may still leave the PICU today. Discouraged because the drain tube must stay in her chest another day possibly two. Encouraged because she is here with us for another day. A little discouraged because our time here is to be lengthened by another week of waiting before beginning her feeds.
We are doing our best to return unto Him that which He entrusted to us with full knowledge of knowing we did what He led us to do. It is with this prompting that we seek to live and to give our children the best life possible. That is especially true of our littlest one. Oh, to hear Him say, "Well done" when it is all over.