Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

10/19/2007

Parable of the Talents

I have no time to waste. Not a single moment. He has given me, entrusted to me, one of His most valuable creations. When I stand before Him I want to know that I refused to "hide" my "talent" for fear of losing her. I want to know that I did everything to make her life full, rich, and well lived. I want there to be NO regrets.

Jesus told of a parable in the book of Matthew. There was a master who was going away. He called unto him 3 servants and handed them each some of his talents to manage in His absence. The first he handed 5, the second 2, and the third 1. When he returned the first servant showed the master that he had taken the 5 talents and doubled them for him. The second servant did the same. The third servant returned unto the master the 1 talent he had been given to manage and said he had buried the talent out of fear of losing it. To the first two servants the master answered, "Well done. I will make the ruler over many things." To the third servant the master said that he was wicked and lazy and he took the talent from him and gave it to the servant who had ten. Jesus goes on to say many other things about this parable in Matt. 25, but what spoke to me the most was the fear in the third servants heart. I do not want to be that servant. I want to know that I made the most, the absolute best that I could, of Ashley Kate's life.


Dave and I have made it no secret that we don't expect our sweet Ashley's life span to be the same as our Blake and Allison's. We have acknowledged that our time with her may be short. With that knowledge we feel the urging of the Holy Spirit to enjoy each moment, each day, each experience with her so that some day we can stand knowing that we loved her, we shared her, and we dedicated her unto Him. Because of this urging we also don't expect to attain perfect heatlh in her body before returning home with her. Our goals are more realistic than that. We want to achieve a safe place. Once we are there then we will work on TPN, feedings, replacements and the like. All of this can be done in our home, with our family, living life to the fullest extent possible. No regrets. Afternoons at the park, picnics by the pond, trips to the ocean, bike rides around the block, baseball games, Christmas with her cousins, and all the rest. This is our current prayer for our Ashley, a safe place.

This morning we are encouraged and a little disappointed. Encouraged becasue CT shows more resolution of the damage done to her bowel. Discouraged because it is not healed enough to begin feeding it. Encouraged because we may still leave the PICU today. Discouraged because the drain tube must stay in her chest another day possibly two. Encouraged because she is here with us for another day. A little discouraged because our time here is to be lengthened by another week of waiting before beginning her feeds.

We are doing our best to return unto Him that which He entrusted to us with full knowledge of knowing we did what He led us to do. It is with this prompting that we seek to live and to give our children the best life possible. That is especially true of our littlest one. Oh, to hear Him say, "Well done" when it is all over.

11 Comments:

At 1:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will pray for Ashley to find her "safe place" once again. More than a few tears were shed while reading this heartfelt post. May God continue to bless your family.

 
At 2:02 PM , Blogger Krista said...

You have done right by HIM for Loving that baby as much as you do. You have given her to GOD and let his hands work, and WOW, how much HE has done for her Has been amazing even though she is not "Perfectly healthy". She has done so much for so many in the short time she has been on this earth. What a Blessing to have that miracle to share. Thanks for sharing her with all of us.

 
At 2:09 PM , Anonymous April in Colorado said...

Trish, when I grow up I want to be just. like. you. You have far surpassed the meaning of "inspiration."

I look at you and think, "that is true Christianity. That is true love."

Yes, when I grow up...I want to be like you. Thank you for sharing Ashley throughout the day. And thank you for sharing you.

 
At 2:33 PM , Blogger The Dean Family said...

Trish,
I believe you have the right perspective with all that is happening. The Lord knows your heart. I feel he is already looking down at you and saying, "Well done," You are a tremendous example to all the moms reading your blog. It has already helped to make me a better mom for sure. Thanks for sharing your heart. Give Ash a big hug for me and my daughter (Audrey) She loves Ash without even knowing her because we pray for her.

 
At 4:27 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen!!!

Still praying in Oregon.

Shari

 
At 4:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trish, You've said it all and the Lord is looking down and saying, Well Done!!Sending lot's of prayers to you all.God Bless..Karen.

 
At 4:59 PM , Blogger KimberlyDi said...

I won't have access to a computer all weekend but rest assured that you will be in my prayers. Have a wonderful weekend. May she makes lots of progress in the next few days.

 
At 5:48 PM , Blogger Laurie said...

Trish,
My heart feels heavy as I read your post and I am just a prayer warrior for you. I am praying for your "mothers heart" to be surrounded with His peace and His joy as you continue to take passionate care of the "talent" he has trusted in your care.
My hope and prayer is that this next week that she must be there will be the one that brings her to the "safe place" she needs to reach so she can go home with you and her family. Praying this is reached as she sees all 5 of you together in the same room, her people, her life. I am encouraged to hear her bowel is continuing to show signs of healing and no rejection. Praise God!! Praying that this next week brings you to the answers of going home with her. You definitely are not wasting the talent God has trusted you with, you have shared her here with so many of us and the ripple on the water keeps going. "Be still and know He is God" and listen to His whisper in your heart "Well Done" every moment of the day as you love Ashley so completely. I know He is so pleased with your family's love for her. Her value and worth cannot be measured here, but He sure knows.
Love and gentle rest for you girls tonight. I love you!
Laurie in Ca.

 
At 6:18 PM , Blogger Amy T said...

Wonderful post. So glad there's some encouragement there along with the discouragement. I think when the rest of your crew gets there, Ashley will astound them with how far she progresses. Already, it's miraculous when you look back on even a week ago. Bless you and get some rest.

 
At 6:51 PM , Blogger Myfriendconnie@SmockityFrocks said...

We are still praying for you all. You are an incredible testimony to the wonderful love of God! I'm sure you are touching so many lives with your determination to praise God through all circumstances.

 
At 9:40 PM , Anonymous heidi said...

Trish & Family,
Our prayers continue for your beautiful daughter and wonderful family. And I agree with other bloggers, you are indeed an inspiration. I could thank you every day and it wouldn't be enough...
Blessings are being counted and prayers are being said.
Thank YOU.
Heidi in CT

 

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