So Much More
This is not all there is. She is oh so much more. More than hospital beds. More than monitors. More than leads and wires. More than meds. More than scans, and tests, and procedures. The Father has so much more in store.
Some days it becomes difficult as her mommy because while we are here she is "just Ashley". She is known as the patient, but they don't see the little girl. She is known by her chart, but not by her heart. I want so badly to announce to everyone that she is more than what they see in front of them. What they know is our Ashley on her bad days, but if they only knew our Ashley on the good days. If they could see her laugh the way she laughs when she plays with her daddy on the floor. If they could see the twinkle in her eyes each afternoon when we open the car door for Blake and Allie after school. If they could see the wonder on her face as she sits with her Nan on the front porch to watch the birds take a bath. If they could feel her tiny arms wrapped around their necks with all the love she can muster then I know they would get it. She is so much more than the patient. She has a life. A home. A church. A community. A family.
Ashley has spent some of her life confined to a hospital room, but I wish everyone could see her on the days when she is not. She lives. She plays. She loves to be outside. If you could see the look on her face as she watches a butterfly fluttering in the garden. Or if you could see how intently she watches Blake throw a ball. How about the way she claps her hands when Allie "rescues " her from her crib. Nothing is sweeter than to see her sleeping on her daddy's chest while he naps at lunch time. Oh, how amazing it is to feel her relax into my chest as we rock.
I know in my heart the Father has so much more planned for her life. I know she will do more things. She will see stand on the mountains and behold the beauty He created . She will play in the waves as the ocean breaks against the beach. There are many sunsets she has yet to see. Raindrops she has yet to feel on her face. Leaves she will run through. She will learn and grow and experience more and more and more. I believe this.
This is only a time in her life. It does not define her. She is so much more than what they know. She is our daughter and she is so very special. Its easy for some to think we have "put " her through all of this. Perhaps they have missed seeing the twinkle in her eye, the fight in her spirit, the smile on that beautiful face. Perhaps they can't acknowledge the value in His creation. Perhaps they have closed their hearts to watching the hand of the God who created her work in her life. I don't know how they fail to see the miracle of who she is? It astounds me that someone would choose not to see that there is so much more going on here. My heart breaks because they have chosen to miss out on that so much more. What would the Father have done in their hearts had they only opened them up to this little girl?
I want each and every one of you to know that you are loved. We could not be more touched by the love and prayers and support that we feel from you. The Father has used you in the life of our family over and over again. On the hard days, you are there to encourage. On the good days, you are there to share. On the "normal" days, you are there to rejoice with us that we have achieved them. I am forever changed by this body of believers who have allowed themselves to love our Ashley. Thank you so very much. Trish