Ash is now back in her tent staring at her hands in the oddest way. I wonder what she is thinking? She could possibly be trying to figure out how to get them around my neck in order to strangle me for putting her through this. Just a thought? She looks really good and she did really well. We have a wonderful surgeon and I appreciate her care and concern for not only my Ashley Kate but for our whole family. She never fails to ask when Dave will be returning or how the older kids are.
As she was setting up for the procedure we were visiting and I made this statement, "I really think the Lord must be trying to help me work on my trust and fear issues." She just smiled and nodded. She knows I have trust issues when it comes to Ash, and she also knows one of my biggest fears is the bedside procedure of sliding drains and needles in to tap out fluid. I keep hoping it will get easier, but it never does. When it was over I said, "Its a good thing her mom is so brave!" To which we all laughed because everyone knows what a wimp I am when it comes to Ash. Ashley Kate is the tough one who continues to pull me along. I really do admire this little person.
Her chest x-ray is already showing some improvement concerning the fluid, but it also shows that there is a pocket of air between the lung and the plural cavity. We are hooking her up to suction in hopes that it will help. The air outside the lung is compressing on the lung making it harder for her lung to inflate. This can lead to problems with her heart function. We did another echo on the heart and the amount of fluid around it is unchanged. If things go the way we all would like then once the lung has drained the fluid around her heart will be able to find some place else to go too. Its a tense situation and it seems as though nothing with Ash is ever easy. We still have no idea why this happens to Ash. I asked if they had any theories and they said they could make something up to tell me, but it would only be made up. So to be honest it is best to say that we don't know why her body does these things. Our job is to help support her through them and by going after the fluid (even though it is frightening) we have the best chance at helping her.
I still have not unpacked my things. I'm holding out hope for those drastic changes that will allow us to move back out of the PICU. Once we are over this respiratory issue then I want to go back to working on that bowel and getting it fed so we can move home. These are my goals.
Thank you again for your prayers. Your support is so comforting. Just knowing that I can ask for your help in praying for Ashley Kate encourages my heart. Wendy, thank you for the gift. It is beautiful and one day I hope to be removing it from my neck and placing it around Ashley Kate's. Karen and Robin thank you for the yummy surprises, and Aunt Kathy, Ashley is forever grateful for finding her "friend". You are all loved and appreciated. Take care and God Bless.