Scattered

My thoughts are scattered and I am having a hard time putting them into words. So much has happened today. Things just kept getting crazier and crazier and before I knew it we were tapping into Ash's left lung. Once you get on the slippery slope its hard to stay upright and almost impossible to get off.


I spent the entire day standing next to Ashley Kate holding an oxygen tube to her nose. She refused to keep a cannula or a mask on so my only option for keeping her off of the ventilator was to hold the oxygen to her face. I could not put the tube down in order to update and I apologize for that. I know you have all been praying and waiting for some kind of word.


We tried to help her lung resolve something by treating her with CPT every hour. After 4 hours of treatments we repeated the chest x-ray hoping for some resolution but there was none. Disappointed and frightened as I looked at the picture of where her lung should be I knew they were going to have to go after the fluid. You could not see her left lung anywhere on the film. The entire left side of her chest was white. Our surgeon came in and explained what she hoped to accomplish by being allowed to tap into the lung. I cried as we went through the steps and finally gave consent. One of the hardest things I have ever done is learn to live with myself after knowing I signed consent for them to tap into her heart last January. Today my goal was to help her breather easier, but I wanted to make sure she would still be breathing during and after. Nightmares still haunt me from the last attempt at draining fluid.

At 6p.m. the surgeon inserted a needle between Ash's ribs into her left lung and began to drain fluid. So much fluid that she told me she needed to place a chest tube and leave it in. So far we have pulled off 200ccs of fluid and it is still draining. Currently Ash is inside an oxygen tent and not on the ventilator. She has not come out of the sedation just yet, but her eyes are open and she is making whimpering sounds. We have left the fluid around her heart alone. At this point her heart is beating strong and we are hoping the effusion will dissolve on its own. The effusion in the lung was an emergent situation because Ash could no longer breathe.

Not only did the fluid drain but I feel as though I did as well. I am exhausted. I am thankful. I am out of words. I know this post is very scattered and may not make sense, but I also know you have been waiting for something. Thank you for your patience and thank you for your prayers. Trish