Trembling
Minute by minute and hour by hour my sweet Ashley Kate trembles. Her tiny hands and feet are awakening to her situation. Her little head shakes back and forth ever so slightly. Tears fall from her eyes and my heart is broken. Her eyes cannot yet open and she is not totally aware, but I sense that she is scared and confused.
Could the Father heal her hurts? In a heartbeat He could. Does that mean He will? I don't know the answer. Only He knows. I have to accept that His decisions for Ashley Kate are right. I have to believe that His plan must be bigger than what I can see. I have to know that I can trust Him. Does this take away the pain in my heart or the feelings of frustration over her life and the struggles she goes through? Absolutely not. My heart aches over and over again for our baby. My tears burn my eyes and fall onto her pillow. My whole being wants to make all of this go away. It is not in my power to do so. I don't know the future He has for her so all I can do is try and hold on to the promises He gives.
I want so desperately to have her smiling again. I want so desperately to hold her close to me again. I want so desperately to watch her put coins in her piggy bank, throw balls across the room, knock down the towers of blocks, turn pages in her books, reach for Blue to be turned on, clap when she is happy, hug her daddy, and giggle with joy. I want so desperately to have her home again where she belongs.
My heart is so very tender toward my daughter. It trembles in my chest as I watch her wake up to this new reality. When her eyes open she will find that she is no longer home, but that we have brought her back. Please God help her to understand that we had no choice.
posted by Ashley @ 11:08 PM
22 Comments:
Praying for you. Love
Henrietta, in England
Praying that her waking up will go as smoothly for both of you as possible. I can only imagine how your hear is hurting and my heart hurts for you!! (((hugs))) ~Chan~
Praying for healing for both of you. Ashley is your child but you are both a child of God. We know not what His plan is and you are only human to feel the pain and hurt of heartbreak that there is nothing you can do to make her better. My prayer is that God will give you all that you need for peace and understanding and heal Ashley's sick body and that in all things He will be Glorified.
Hugs for you and little Ashley. She is "Precious in His sight".
Love in Christ
Sonja
God will help her to understand that she's only there to get better and you didn't have a choice. She will return home before she knows it and be able to continue to love you, her dad, and her brother and sister with hands clapping and sining.
- Jess
Oh Trish I am praying hard for you both right now!! Praying for Dave & the kids also! Goodness. Praying for little Ashley to wake up and be okay with her surroundings because she knows her mommy is right by her side. Praying for you to not have to endure such heartache! Praying for Dave & kids to find peace and for Dave to have a safe flight to visit.
Always praying.......
God Bless you and your family!
~Okla
Praying for your family, and you. Please hang on.
Mary, mom to Ashley, age 12
Lit a candle for your family this morning. May you be blessed by the Light from above; may it bring healing and love into your hearts and minds and bodies. Blessings.
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you this morning and praying. Your posts bring tears to my eyes and I hurt for you. I send you and your sweet pickle a big hug. I will keep praying...Leigh Ann
What a helpless feeling for you! How hard it must be to watch those tears....Jesus, I come to you to touch this little pickle, let her touch Your garment. If You were on earth,we would do whatever we had to do to get her to You. Whatever your plan for Ashley, cradle her to Your heart. Bring peace that is unexplainable to that room and baby's bed. I bind Satan in Your name & ask You yet again to use Ashley to show Your awesome glory. Give Trish comfort and some rest. Bring nurses and Doctors with a kind face and a compassionate heart. Thank you for what You will do for Ashley. You told us to bring the children to you...This little girl needs You to pull out all the stops. We believe! Thank you for Your great love, Amen! Colleen
Candels are lit on my alter, Prayers are being sent constantly, sending Ash and your family positive healing energy's.
I hurt for you, I know the pain of watching your child and being helpless to do anything but be there!I would like to do a HEALING spell for ashley, but I can not do it without you telling me it is alright to do for her..
Brightest Blessings to ALL...
Praying for you all.
krista
I am so sorry. I am praying for all of you.
Praying for you, your family and beautiful Ashley.
At age 31 I was in a coma for 14 days and know what it's like to 'wake up'. Talk to her, sing to her and tell her of the love of Jesus. She hears even when you may think she can't. She sees more than doctors know or can understand. Doctors, all those years ago, gave my family no hope of my living or of being 'normal' if I did. Twenty-nine years later, by God's grace and mercy, I am here to tell you there is always hope. But then, that's something you already know.
May our God richly bless you.
His mercies are new every morning..it is a promise, it is true. Trust in them. We weep and continue to pray for you in central IL
praying and hurting with you as you have to sit to watch. Ashley will be with me all day again today in my heart and prayers as I go through my day.
God is God and He IS in control! It might seem that the doctor's or machines are sustaining her right now, but it is actually our Lord Jesus that loves you and Ashley Kate and your family so very much. He loves Ashley Kate even more than you possibly could and He will care for her and you according to His perfect plan!
Dear Lord,
Please calm this sweet mommy, daddy,siblings and their little pickle as they go through today! Give them all strength to face each minute and give understanding to both where it is needed. Please heal Ashley Kate's lungs and give the doctor's Your wisdom to know what You all ready know. May you help them to "Be still and Know that you are God." May they feel your presence and see Your hand on Ashley Kate. Thank You for all You have done and for what You are going to do.
Amen
Love, Nicki in SC
Lord, Please heal Ash and let her suffer no more.
moriah from PA
Praying for Ashley still! You have a wonderful way with words, Trish and your strong faith in our Savior is so inspiring to me. Keep pressing on!
Everytime I think, "I don't know how she does this everyday," I am reminded that faith can move mountains. Your faith is, to say the least, amazing to me. And yet I know that it is through trial that our faith is strengthened, not through long days of basking in the sun. But through long nights of basking in the Son.
I think that just as He has strengthened your faith enough to pray, stay, be still, rest in Him, He surely has provided Ashley with the comfort, the lack of understanding, if you will, and the assurance - even if she is not even aware of its existence or where it comes from.
Praying. As always. Believing. Praying some more.
Hugs...
Praying for continued strength for you and your family, and endurance for Ashley.
Dianne W. (in East TX)
I'm praying for you and your family this morning.
I just came across your blog through cfhusband blog., and please know that my heart aches for your family as you watch your precious baby girl so sick and weak. I have added Ashely to my prayer list and will add her to our churches prayer list as well. I'm so glad to hear that she is doing better today. God hears our prayers for her and despite the Dr. not knowing what "they" did to make her improvements, God ulitmately gave wisdom to the Dr. and is providing healing for Miss Ashley. I can't wait to hear that she is back to her normal self. I'll be praying for peace and comfort for her as she wakes.
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