Trusting

Update:  My dad's heart attack was a blessing.  Sounds insane to say that out loud, but we now know that God did indeed have this under control.  My dad is a stubborn man.  It took something like this to urge him to go to the hospital.  This morning it was discovered that he has 4 blockages.  3 of them in his main arteries at 70,80,and90%.  We agree with his doctor when he said this heart attack probably saved his life.  My dad would have never gone in, and we would have not known the trouble his heart was having.

Friday morning he will go in for a triple heart by pass.  We are expecting that once he recovers from the surgery he will  once again be in "Super Hero" form.  I'm grateful for God's hand in our lives.  Grateful to have the opportunity to have my dad around a while longer.  I really love that man. 

I will not be able to make the trip since Ashley Kate is struggling.  My heart is torn between two of the most important people in my life. Please keep my dad in your prayers.   


My dad was just taken back into surgery.  He had a mild heart attack night before last.  They are going in to see how much damage was done and are not yet sure what exact procedure they will be performing on him. My dad has always been the strongest man I know.  My childhood memories flood my mind this morning as I was convinced there was absolutely nothing he could not do.  As the years pass by I see he is just a man.  With a mortal body that is tired and weary.  The super hero image I've always held in my heart is breaking away as I see him age, as I watch him begin to struggle.

Trusting in this moment that the Father has this and is not surprised.

Ashley Kate's skin is glowing a little more each day.  I can smell the toxicity through it as I hold her close to me.  The whites of her eyes have turned a shade of dirty yellow. Hard to imagine how quickly things can change.  Its a familiar look and smell, although its been almost two years since we've seen her like this.

Trusting that even now the Father has this too and was not caught by surprise by it either.

Allie remains frozen from activity due to rules and regulations after a head injury.  She's struggling this week as we enter week 3 of being excluded.  Feeling left out.  No longer a part of anything she worked so hard to achieve.  We were unaware that our school would continue to hold her out of activity this week even after she was cleared by a physician.  Surprise, frustration, and disappointment have been heavy.

Trusting that our Father has this one under His control and is not surprised when her tears fall.

My friends heart is hurting.  She's been injured by another's actions.  How helpless I feel to make the hurt go away.  Encouraging words are all I have to offer, but I know from experience that encouraging words don't make the pain go away.  I don't have many real friends in this life and to watch one of them hurt is hard for me to do.

Trusting that even in this our Father is there and has it in the palm of His hand.  No surprise to Him and maybe, just maybe He is at work in a way we just can't see.

A tiny girl lay in her hospital bed all the way in Nebraska this morning.  So far from her home here in Texas.  As her little body struggles to fight the rejection of her brand new transplanted bowel I do my best to be a support to her mommy.  How well I remember.  Like piercing arrows the memories flood my mind and I hurt so, so deeply for them.

Trusting that my Father in Heaven is holding them close.  Standing near them, not surprised by the events, and supporting their hearts as this journey for them begins again.

Trust.  Its a very, very hard thing for me.  I like to take things into my own hands, remedy situations, and make them all better for those that I hold dear.  I'm still learning that He is so much more capable of handling it all.  He is.  I just have to trust him.  Hes got this.