Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

10/16/2012

Oh Ashley!

Life in our house is changing.

 Nothing is safe.

 Not a cup of water left on the floor next to a chair or the Willow Tree figures on the bottom  of the bookshelf. ( To be honest I now refer to that shelf as my "willow tree graveyard".  If you saw it you might think we did celebrate halloween around here!  There are so many heads, arms and hands lying next to little bodies they once were attached to.)

Ashley Kate is on the move.  What once contained her no longer does.  The step down into our family room has always been known as her perch.  I could easily keep her safely on the level with the play room, dining room or kitchen and not worry about her getting hurt or getting into too much trouble.  Some where along the way though, after living here for a little over 3 years now, my Ashley has learned to get herself down that step.  This has opened a whole new world to her.

Following this new talent of hers came another.  She can get herself down off the furniture now too.  Chairs, couches recliners?...none of them pose a problem for her any longer.  And although this is all very exciting for us to see as she grows and learns and becomes more able to do things, it has also brought about a little change that is not so exciting for us to see.

Ashley Kate can now get herself out of her own bed.  Whenever SHE chooses.  Not something to celebrate!  As a matter of fact it is reeking havoc around here.

Allie first caught her one evening while Dave and I were in our room preparing her TPN.  "Ummm, Mom...you might want to  come see this."  I got up to find Ash headed to the family room to get herself a cup of water.  The cup she left next to the recliner.  No need for her to wait on one of us to come and offer her a drink before bed.  She would just get it herself.

 Since that evening things have gotten a little hectic around here.

I usually get Ash ready for bed and tuck her in before Dave finishes her TPN.  She used to lie there and listen to music or snuggle under blankets and go right to sleep.  Those days are long gone.  She doesn't want to be in bed.  She doesn't think she needs to go to bed.  Before OR after her TPN is connected.  Problem being that after the TPN is connected she is attached to an IV pole and that IV pole is on the opposite side of the bed than where she chooses to make her dismount.

 I can't tell you how many times over the last couple of weeks I have heard Blake catch her out of bed late into the night with the IV lines stretched to their limits and pole leaning across the bed.  I get up multiple times a night and put her back into bed.  Its dangerous.   I mean its not good for her to be roaming the house at night period, but once her lines are connected its VERY dangerous.  Her central line could break.  Then we would be in more trouble than I can even fathom.

Last night enough was enough.  Its not often that Ashley Kate gets into trouble.  She pretty much just hangs out giggly and happy and lives a pretty care free life here in our home.  Last night was a different story though.  She was in trouble.  I had no choice.  Her daddy had put her back in bed several times and she kept getting up with IV pole attached, lines stretched, and gotten herself hung up.   So I handled it.

 Firmly.

 I was serious and that sweet baby girl knew it.  You should have seen the look on her face.  It broke my heart.  I put her back into bed, told her NOT to get back up, and watched that bottom lip quiver and tears come to her eyes.  She didn't move a muscle.  She stayed in bed all night long.  I don't even think she changed her position.  It was so sad.  This morning when I went in to get her up that little lip came back out and quivered some more like she was going to cry. The saddest moment of my life. Ever!  I told her I loved her and wiped those tears away and as we stood her up out of her bed her little arms squeezed around my neck.  As she hugged me tight I told her how very much I loved her and how I wanted her to keep her safe.  A tiny tear rolled down her cheek and then she wiped her eyes dry on my shirt and signed for her Ipad.

All is forgiven I think.

On his way out the door this morning Dave said to me with a smile on his face, "Your quite the disciplinarian."

Ummm...thanks for making me be the bad guy!

If she ever learns to get back up that step then who knows what will become of this house!

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