Pink Balloons...

I am always so thankful when morning comes. It is evidence to me that He has allowed me to spend another day with my Ashley. Night time is over and the sun is now awake. This always brings me joy. Ashley and I had an o.k. night. She woke around 3:30 this morning and wimpered and struggled the rest of the night. She has just now fallen asleep again with the aid of a little medication to help her relax. I am afraid that we are seeing signs and symptoms of withdraw in her little body. After almost 5 full days on very heavy meds she now is experiencing some tremors in her hands and feet. She is trying to keep her hands from shaking by clasping them tightly together. She is also clawing and poking her little eyes with her fingers. I have not been able to console her, so I just hold her as tightly as I can a pray for her while she struggles through. I am hoping this issue will resolve quickly because she is miserable. Please pray that she will gain control of her little body again so that she may start to relax.

Before Ashley woke up early this morning I found myself dreaming once again of pink balloons. Ashley absolutely loves balloons, and I love the color pink. Every hospital stay we buy her a bundle of pink balloons to enjoy. We have so many of the sweetest pictures of her fast asleep holding tightly onto her balloons. I love this is about her. For several weeks before receiving "the call" to come to Omaha I struggled with nightmares every time I would close my eyes. I could not escape the room full of Ashley's pink balloons. There were always people sobbing and more balloons than I could count. I knew where I was and it was not the outcome I wanted for my Ashley's life. I would wake in a panic and try to escape the fear that had overcome me. Last night I had a dream about Ashley's pink balloons, and it was the sweetest dream. No longer was it fearful because Ashley was older now and was playing in the room full of balloons. All of our families were there along with all of the people who have become like family to us through Ashley's story. We were not sobbing. We were celebrating the life of my little one and she was having so much fun. How wonderful it was to realize that the outcome was so different then what I had feared. He had given my sweet Ashley a second chance to live, and she was doing it! I have no idea what the dream last night really means, but I think it showed me that I have been able to let go of some of the fear that I have lived with for so long now. I don't know how many days He has planned for my daughter's life, but I plan on filling those days with plenty of pink balloons for my Ashley Kate. On her 1st birthday we released pink balloons with prayer cards attatched to them. At her campaign launch they released pink balloons for my Ashley. On Nov. 4th at the Stroller-A-Thon there will be pink balloons to send to heaven to show our thankfullness for all He has done and is doing for Ash. Everytime I see pink balloons I think of my daughter and all of the wonderful things He has planned for her life. I hope and pray that the next time you see a pink balloon you might think of our Ashley and stop to say a prayer for her. Just a little piece of Ashley's story I wanted to share with you today. May God bless you and grant you precious time to spend with your families. I love you all. Trish