Heavy Burdens, Tiny Hearts
Tonight Dave took Allie to her tumbling class. On the way home she struck up a very difficult conversation with him. It went something like this.
"Daddy"
"Yes, Allie"
"What happened to Ashley?"
"What do you mean what happened to Ashley?"
"You know. What happened to her when she was born."
"Oh, she was born too early and because of that the blood vessels to her intestine didn't develop all the way. So when they tried to feed her some of her intestine died because it didn't have enough blood going to it, and then they had to take it out."
"Is that why she needed to get a transplant?"
"Yes."
"Daddy, what happened to the person who gave Ashley the transplant?" Did they die?"
"Yes, Allie they did."
"Daddy"
"Yes, Allie"
"Is Ashley going to die too?"
"I don't know Allie, but I hope she doesn't. I think she has made it through the hard part, and that she is starting to get better."
"Daddy"
"Yes, Allie"
"What does B..U..F..F..E..T.. spell?"
"That spells buffet."
"Daddy"
"Yes, Allie"
"Then why does it have a T.. in it?"
He didn't know how to answer the last question. The toughest thing about listening to David recite this conversation to me tonight was the realization that even though Blake and Allie seem to be doing so well with what has happened, they still are thinking that their baby sister could die. Even tougher still is the fact that we can't assure them that Ashley will not. Their hearts are so tiny and so tender, but yet they must carry such a heavy burden every day of their lives. How I wish I could promise them that their sweet Ashley Kate will not die. That she will come home some day. That she will grow up with them. If only I knew the answer to that question, and if only Dave could explain why there is a silent T.. on the end of the word "buffet". I guess there are some things we will never know.
posted by Ashley @ 10:15 PM
4 Comments:
Only God knows Ashley's future, but at least you can know why "buffet" ends in a silent T. "Buffet" is a French word, not English. And the French don't generally pronounce consonants at the end of a word.
I pray God gives you and your family peace. I think of you often.
it is soo cute...the "daddy?...."...
yet it can be sooo intimidating!! because you absolutely NEVER know what is going to follow that wonderful word!!! haha...kids are so ...well...marvel..ous...haha..
because they marvel us...every day!! i'm so glad that dave took the time to hear her out and answer her questions...the deep ones..and the ...well...buffet one.
still praying...
When children ask hard questions we try to be so very careful when we give them an answer. Just like Allie, asking a series of questions, serious questions and then, out of the clear comes a question totally unrelated. I think that shows us that even tho they have "all" these things on their little minds, God has given them the ability to just move on to something else. That doesn't mean they won't think about it again but that they can adjust very well, even more so than adults. I bet Dave was a little relieved when the subject matter changed....at least I think I would have.
Praying for little Chloe and Kiley and their special needs and that their parents are strengthened and comforted by God's grace.
Praying for Ashley to be able to tolerate her feeds and that she will make great progress and that she will just improve by leaps and bounds. I can just imagine the excitement as it fills the air there at the hospital in anticipation of Dave, Blake and Allie's arrival. I just pray that God will bless the time you will have with your husband and 3 children. I pray that Ashley will not have any setbacks and that she will just be a little ball of excitement when she sees them. If only she could say "Bubba". Continue to keep us posted and know that the prayers are going up as we follow Ashley's Story.
I pray for you and Dave to have the wisdom to be able to answer any questions that your children ask of you. I pray even harder for Ashley's complete recovery. My heart goes out to all 5 of you.
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