Ramblings of Ashley's Dad
Over the 15 months I have had to talk to my wife over the phone much more than I would like. During that time I sat silently without words to comfort her as I heard her struggle to update me through tears. This morning at around 9:30 when I spoke to her I again heard the tears but this time it was different. I had to get to Omaha and I had to get there fast. I just arrived here after a very crazy series of events. I won't tell you all the things that took place in order to get me here so fast other than to say I caught flights at times they were not even scheduled. There is no doubt in my mind that God orchestrated the timing of these flights to get me here so quickly. During takeoff from Longview I closed my eyes and whispered a little pray. I could not believe the words I was saying to God. "Lord please if you are going to take someone from my family today please let it be me on this plane and please spare Ashley." At that moment I was torn and pulled in so many directions. I was feeling guilty for running out of my office and leaving my patients behind. I know they will understand, but I just don't like mess up other peoples plans. I hate to run off and leave Blake and Allie behind without even telling them I am leaving. What will they think? I was supposed to take Allie to a Cheerleading competition in Dallas this weekend. I am supposed to take Blake to a birthday party tomorrow. I am not there and I didn't even tell them goodbye. All of these things are running through my mind and I hope I made the right decision by coming here. When I walked in the room Trish met me with such strength and determination. There is no one else in the world I would want here with Ash than Trish. As difficult as it is she stays so strong for Ash.
I was hoping for a better report upon my arrival. I had hoped that the morning had brought improvement. I don't understand how she could go from the best patient on the floor and out the door to the most critical baby down here. Trish says that Doctors and Nurses are coming up to here and giving her hugs. This is not what they are supposed to due. That doesn't happen unless things are really really bad. They told her they are not giving up yet, but they will let us know when it is time to give up. I don't like those words, I don't want to here that. It is not supposed to be this way. She was getting so much better. How could we be where we are now? I have way more questions than answers. Just when I think I am OK with not knowing the answers and that God does not owe me any answers I realize that I am not nearly as strong or as tough as I think I am. Seeing my little girl laying there paralyzed is just more than I can understand this time around.
There are two things I know and I hold onto. First, God is in control and I will praise him no matter what the next chapter is in Ashley's Story. Second, I know you who read these posts give us strength through your prayers and encouragement. Please continue to share Ashley's Story with your friends and family and ask them to pray for our Ashley and for our family. Thank you for being there for us.
Thank You,
DAVE
posted by Ashley @ 4:10 PM
6 Comments:
We are all praying for you.
COntinuing to pray, thank you for the update.
I do not know you all personally but we are all brothers and sisters in Christ! I come to this website every day - several times a day to check on your sweet Ashley. My family and I are lifting all of you up in prayer. God bless you all.
Lori
Tears are falling...prayers are going up to the FATHER ...for each of you & especially sweet Ash in the critical condition that she is currently in. I am so Glad that you were able to make it to Omah today Dave. Gosh....hug each other tight...if I can help in anyway getting the kids to their events PLEASE call me. Think you have my number & if not Dave...your mom does. I would be glad to help however I can. Praying constantly. Many hugs....dear ones....I know this must be so hard to endure.... God can & has turned things around before.... Praying....Giving it all to HIM...it is too much for any person to bear alone....God is good & as You guys know more than anyone...He is in control.
Oh Father, we cry out to You for little Ashley as so many others do Lord. You know what is going on in her tiny fragile body, we pray that You would just bring her through this struggle once again. We pray for Your will Father, but as You know, we all just are wanting so badly for Your will to be her healing. We don't understand Your plan, but we know that You have a reason for each heartache and struggle this family goes through. WE pray that You would hold them closer to You than ever before Father. As I read their struggles for today, my tears start falling, and I can't imagine how their hearts are breaking as Ashley's parents. Just give them peace, I know their faith in You is unwaivering, but just give them reassurance.....we pray that You would continue holding Ashley in the palm of Your hands. We thank You for allowing David to get there so quickly....
Father we love You and we thank You for allowing us to be a part of this story. We pray that You would continue to be with this family as they continue writing the chapters of Ashley's story. In Your precious Name I Pray, Amen.
There are no words I can offer but only prayer, and will continue to offer that up continually.
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