Lots of Changes

Morning rounds are now over and there are a lot of changes in Ashley's care taking place today. The list of changes is very long and I am trying to keep them all straight in my mind. She will be receiving some fluid bolus' this morning because she is now too dry. They will be changing her blood pressure medicine to a patch that will also help sedate her so that she might get a little sleep today. If she does well, then we will feed her at a rate of 5ccs an hour just so we can use the new bowel a little. Her lipids will be cut and hopefully be turned off in the next day or two. They are planning on removing her art line and foley this morning, so by late afternoon I may be rocking that sweet baby girl. They tried to wean her oxygen, but she is not ready for that just yet. She is very, very weak from being down so long and so very sick. We will not start physical therapy for a few more days. I want her to try and get some rest and then we will work on re-building her strength. I plan on doing a little range of motion with her limbs as long as she is able to tolerate it. Other than her exhaustion, she looks very sweet this morning. Her voice has not quite returned so she sounds very scratchy when she tries to talk. I hope to give her a good bath and shampoo late this afternoon and place her in a pair of snuggly p.j.s. At this point the only thing she has been wearing for the last week is her precious bunny slippers.

On his way out of our room this morning one of the surgeons told me they would try not to break her this week. I told him how much I would appreciate that and assured him that I knew she was a little complex and she was just keeping them on their toes. He laughed and said, "Complex?, I am complex. Your daughter is an "enigma"." ( I have no idea what that means. I hope it is good.) I replied, "Yeah, but she sure is beautiful." To that he said, "We all know that, and it is not being debated." I really love this team of professionals who take care of my Ashley. They are amazing people and I know they want the best for her.

It is so very quiet here today and tears come to my eyes as I look around and see that we are on our own again. How I long for the day that I bring my sweet baby home. My dreams are now filled with quiet nights at home where I sit on the couch listening to my children play. I miss the routine of tucking them all in there beds at night and asking Dave to get up at least 3 times throughout the night to make sure the house is safe and the children are covered under their blankets. I think he misses it too, although I am sure a full nights sleep without having to trek through the house in the dark at my request is probably appreciated.

Today I am waiting to see what the Lord will do in my youngest daughter's life. I pray that He will reveal Himself to me in the little things as well as the big. Just to know that He has brought her so far over the past week touches my heart. I am asking Him to give her strength to carry on. I pray that His will is going to allow us to return home someday soon. The calendar continues to turn and Ash and I have lived the last four months here in this PICU without Dave, Blake, and Allison. My prayer is that perhaps in the next four months the Lord will all allow us to move home and pick up where we left off. For now I am working on being content and looking for ways that He might use me while I am here. I pray you are blessed today. Trish