Twinkle, Twinkle

"It's amazing how much you have learned about all of this stuff." This is what Glenda just said to me. My response, "I wish I didn't know any of it. I wish all I understood was eating play-doh and building mega blocks!" I guess God had something different in mind for me this round.

I know more about ventilators, labs, meds, machines, lines, tests, procedures, hospitals, nursing, and anything else found inside the walls of this hospital. All in all if the truth be told I really don't mind learning it. If this is what it takes to be Ashley's mommy then I would gladly learn it and more. Whatever is asked of me to do this job I will do it with a smile because shes worth it!

Some days our conversations with Blake and Al stay on the lighter side. We talk about the silly things Ash is up to and we leave it at that. Then there are conversations like the one we had this morning as we drove to the hospital. "Will Ashley ever walk?", "When will Ashley get better?", "Is Ash going to be OK?" The toughest thing about these conversations is that I want to tell them what they want to hear. I want to tell them that some day Ash will be healthy. I want to tell them that her story has a happy ending, but I CAN'T. The questions that they have are the same ones that race through my mind constantly. So instead of actually answering what their tiny hearts are wondering, I tell them this; "I don't know if Ash will ever walk, or run, or play baseball like Blake, or get to cheer with Al. I don't know when we will make it back home, but I do know that we are the lucky ones. We are the ones that God chose. He knew that Ashley didn't have to be perfect, and that she didn't have to have a healthy body for us to love her. He knew that we would love our Ashley no matter what. She might not have been created beautiful by anyone else's standards, but to us she is absolutely perfect!" I turn around to see tears in Blake's eyes and I know that he understands exactly what I mean. To us she is just right.

Today Ash has been sleeping. She only played for very brief moments, but we wanted to give you a glimpse of our little one. Yesterday Allie made her this mobile, and when Ash opened her eyes to see it hanging above her this is what she did. I hope you all enjoy watching it as much as we enjoyed filming it. We love you guys, and we are forever grateful that you chose to become a part of Ashley's story. We are off to play in the snow. Goodnight. Trish