I see beauty...

Even on the dark days, I still see beauty. Even on the sad days, I still see beauty. Through the disappointments, I still see beauty. On the days when my heart grieves the loss of another child, I still see beauty. This morning as I think back over the last few days in Ashley's story, I see many places of beauty.

In the halls of this PICU I see beauty. I see beauty in the smiles on the faces of those precious women who make sure all things stay clean. They have such a way of making me see the beauty of all who surround me. I see beauty through the dedication I watch day after day in the nurses who come back to make a difference in the lives of these children. I see beauty in the friendships that have developed between us. I see beauty in the way thay they don't just do their job when taking care of my Ashley but in the way that they love her. I see beauty in the faces of my fellow parents who show genuine care and concern for my daughter. I see beauty in the knowledge and the skill of the surgeons and the doctors who have been used to save my Ashley's life time and time again. I see beauty in the way they take the time to make sure I have an understanding of what is taking place. I see beauty in the transplant coordinators who show how much they care for me and Ashley each time they pass me in the halls. I see beauty in the faces of the children who have become patients in this place. The beauty they exhibit through their will to survive is astounding. I see beauty in the kindness of strangers. I see beauty laying in that crib across the room. Some of the most amazing beauty I have ever seen. I see beauty in her eyes as they light up when she sees her mommy or her Daddy. I see beauty in her smile. It melts my heart. I see beauty in her finger tips as they squeeze as tightly as they can to mine while she sleeps. I see beauty in her tiny feet, and in the dreams I have of where those tiny feet will someday take her. I see beauty in her strength, in her will, in her face, in her spirit, in her heart, in her whole being. I see beauty in the way she was created. I see beauty in His plan for her life. I see beauty in the possibilities. I see beauty in the promise. I see beauty in the body of believers who have surrounded us with their love, their prayers, their protection. I see beauty in this life that I have been blessed with. I see beauty because of her struggles. I see beauty because of who He made her to be. I see beauty all around me because I have been allowed to love my Ashley.

This morning they will not take Ashley off of the ventilator. They attempted and she failed. Her lungs are still too wet and it is too dangerous. My heart is disappointed, but I see beauty in the wisdom that is being used to spare her any further complications. She will spend another day fighting agaist the breathing tube, but I see beauty in her fight because He has allowed her to be here to fight another day. I am surrounded by beauty, and I find beauty in the lessons I have learned that have brought me to a place where I can find it.

My prayer for each of you who come to Ashley's story today is that you too will look around you and see the beauty that He has placed in your life. It is there, and it is capable of being found. You have been the cause of much beauty in my life, and I appreciate each one of you for bringing it to me. You are loved today by not only a baby pickle but also by her entire family. May God bless you. Trish

P.S.

I have not been able to find the beauty in having a tooth pulled. If you know where I might find it, please let me know. I seem to be struggling with that one.