Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

2/28/2007

Baby sitting

The teams plan for this week is baby sitting. We plan on allowing them to baby sit us while we wait on the cultures to see if anything has invaded Ash's system. She has not run fever since night before last. She continues to have a high stool output, but it is getting a little better. They think it could possibly be caused from the Cytoxin part of her chemotherapy. It is one of the side effects. We are hoping both the fever and the "dumping" are just side effects as opposed to an infection. So while we are waiting we just get to hang out in the PICU. It's really not that bad anymore. We have a lot of friends. Staff and patient families alike. It has almost become our normal. We know the routine and we know what to expect. After a while it becomes comfortable.

Ash continued to struggle from the Rutuximab infusion all through the night. During the first half she was incredibly weak. The second half she became very irritable and cried and cried and cried. It doesn't matter what I do it doesn't seem to help. There came a point when Ash was crying in her crib and I was crying in my chair becoming completely overwhelmed with the idea that we had 17 more weeks until my Ashley could possibly be free from the chemo. My nurse (who has been sent by God Himself to be a friend to me) came in and kneeled down beside my chair and began to pray for us. Her prayer was sincere and loving and exactly what I needed. I had no words to pray only tears to offer, but she allowed herself to be used by the Father to step in for me. Even during the hardest of days I see Him working and allowing others to minister to me. I am so thankful for those who have been sent to us.

Today I am tired, but I pray that I am not judged to harshly for that. There are heavy burdens that we are carrying, but there are large bundles of great JOY that accompany them. We are the parents of 3 amazing children who will one day grow up to do big things in this world. We are a strong couple. Strong enough to endure these periods of "single" parenting, and then come back together again to raise our family. We still believe that God has chosen us to do this and that He is still working in the life of our Ashley. She is amazing, beautiful, strong, and purposed. She is the one that we prayed for and I wouldn't trade a moment of our life with her. I am blessed to be here in this place with my daughter. Thank you for coming back today. You will never understand how very much it means to us to know that you are praying for our Ashley. Trish

8 Comments:

At 1:02 PM , Blogger Susan said...

What a blessing to have a nurse that would take time to pray over you and Ashley! God truly provides. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know I say that so often, but they truly are. Hope you can rest today. You are loved!

 
At 1:04 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are such a gifted writer. You have made me cry at both of your latest posts. Many people could associated with the "Wanted" post as far as adoption or waiting for a child that they wanted for so long...I hope you are keeping copies of all of this:) Thank God for your Christian nurse. I am so happy that she is there with you. I went back the other night and read everything you have gone through so far. Ashley has come so far and is such a miracle. Matter of fact, she is miracle after miracle. God has held her in the palm of His hand from the time she was "knitted together." I can see that, everyone who has any sense cannot deny that. He is holding her now, He is holding you now. He formed that mother bond out of His own heart. He knows you are hurting..We who read this and pray are hurting also for you. Lifting you to our Father at every thought....Ashley hang in there lil' Cabbage Patch. Colleen

 
At 1:47 PM , Anonymous Grandma said...

Praying through the tears.

 
At 2:34 PM , Anonymous Julie said...

You are an amazing mom and are a godly example to your beautiful children. You are showing them what it is like to be a true woman of God. One that is honest and real. Our children can't learn what a true relationship with God is about if we are fake, and pretend we are alright when we are hurting. God is holding each of you & Ashley's tears in a special place in His heart. I pray that God wraps His arms around you and you can physically feel Him. I pray that God restores Ashley back to the way He created her... cancer free!! Sorry to leave 2 messages in one day, but just wanted to encourage you that you are doing exactly what He wants, and that is to be you ~ He created you in a special way with a special heart!! Hopefully you still have my phone # to call if you need anything or just to talk. I saw in one of your posts that you found Mickey Mouse masks, but were looking for pink for the princess. I saw someone with one the other day and she will let me know where to get them.

Julie

 
At 2:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heavenly Father, I pray for your rest, reassurance and strength to be poured out over Ashley and Trish. Holy Spirit, I ask that your presence would fill their room and that they would be able to hear the still small voice of the LORD guiding and reviving them. LORD, I lift up Dave, Blake and Allie to you. Please give them the patience and energy that they need to do all of the daily tasks and still take time to praise your Name. LORD, I pray for your peace and joy in all of their lives. In the mighty name of Jesus, AMEN.

 
At 3:12 PM , Blogger Carey said...

I am praying fro you both today. I can only imagine all the suffering you are going through, but i strongly believe that God has great plans for you.

 
At 3:23 PM , Anonymous katy said...

Praying for you today. Hang on to hope!

 
At 8:53 PM , Blogger jtcosby said...

What an amazing gift, that nurse of yours! I remember when I was in the hospital on bedrest with my twins, I had one nurse I was comfortable enough asking to pray for me...I remember the sense of peace I had when she did...I pray you have the same peace in your dreams tonight...

 

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