Making IT
It has been such an exhausting day. I have not put Ash down since we returned from the procedures this morning. There has not been one moment for me to sneak away from her to post any news. The good news is that we are making it. The day is finally coming to a close and He has allowed us to make it through another tough one. I wish I could tell you that all is well with my Ashley and that she is now resting, but she continues to cry and scream. Huge tears roll down her cheeks and I do my best to wipe them away as quickly as they fall. It has not been an easy one. I am afraid we may have a lot more tough ones ahead before the good ones return.
I am so thankful that the preliminary reports on Ashley's central nervous system have returned to us with no sign of the cancer. The pathologist has not yet viewed the cells under the microscopes but we hope to know something by late tomorrow or early Friday. We have a care conference scheduled on Friday afternoon to make decisions regarding treatment options and to learn about the possibility of rejection. This is new territory for us and we have some difficult things to face. I would like to ask you to pray for us about an unspoken request that has developed for us tonight. I think I have stumbled on some answers about what has happened to my Ashley to cause such an extreme change in her behavior. I am seeking and praying for direction as I do some research and prepare to share my concerns with our team. I am not comfortable giving any detail because Dave and I have a lot of decisions to make together tomorrow, but I would really appreciate your prayers.
My heart breaks for Dave because I know how his will break the moment he sees our Ashley crying. It is not going to be easy for him to watch her struggle. He so badly just wants to be here with her to hold her and tell her how much she is loved. He is traveling through the night to make it into Oklahoma City where he will catch a plane at 8 in the morning. My mom and Allie are very sick tonight. Blake is starting to feel better and he decided to stay home and take care of his nan instead of spending the night at grandma's house. I am so proud of his compassionate heart. He could not bare the thought of her feeling so sick and being alone tonight. Allie went to grandmas so that she could take care of her. I am afraid it is going to be a tough weekend for Al as she has to compete in Nationals with her cheer squad. I am still planning on going to Dallas this weekend to see the Blake and Allie. It will not be easy walking away from all that is going on with Ash, but I can not take this time away from the older kids. They have been counting on it and I am looking forward to just hanging out with two of the greatest kids in the world. I can't wait to watch them sleep. I can't wait to put my secret kisses on their foreheads. I can't wait to hug them so tight it hurts. I guess I will be wearing attractive, yellow masks all weekend hoping not to catch what the kids have. I can not get sick. If I am sick then there will be no one to take care of our Ashley. Sometimes when it rains it really pours. I know that we will survive all that we are struggling with. We will make it to better days. Happier days when we are all well and are all together. I have to believe that. God is not finished with the plans He has for our family.
Tonight my heart is heavy with many, many things. It feels as though the future is uncertain and out of my control, and it truly is. It is only by His grace that tomorrow will come and I have never been in control. He guides us through from day to day, and I have faith that He will continue. Your prayers have been so amazing. Your response toward my Ashley's struggles has touched me so much. I thank you for continuing to remember to take her to Him. I pray that she and I will rest in His embrace tonight. I could use a little peace if I am going to continue making it. Good night and may God bless you. Trish
posted by Ashley @ 8:26 PM
25 Comments:
The one constant you can always count on is us praying and our Father always hearing and answering. I love you! Grandma
Praying for WISDOM - for you and Dave, and for the Doctors. May hte Lord grant you the clarity to make the decisions you need to and the determination to stay the course.
And, praying for PEACE for Miss Ashley.
Blessings
XOXOXOX
I am still praying, I came by to check on you both before going to bed. May you both rest in the arms of Jesus tonight. I pray you will find peace and comfort upon awakening in the morning.
I am praying for Dave as well.
I pray that you will have the wisdom needed for decisions ahead, that you will recieve the much needed rest that you and Ash are longing for, and that your time with Blake and Alli, and Dave's with Ashley will be wonderfully memorable.
What wonderful news that no cancer was found in her CNS! And, thank you so much for taking a moment to wish God's blessings on those who read Ashley's story at the end of your posts. It is just a glimpse into your unselfishness :).
Father, I pray your peace and rest for Ashley and Trish. Let them both sleep in your arms tonight. I pray you will speak to Trish and Dave as they make decisions for Ashley's medical care, LORD give them your wisdom. I thank you that you are in control and that you will strengthen their family. LORD I praise you for your faithfulness. In the mightly name of Jesus, Amen
Shannon
I want to first of all thank our Heavenly Father for you...Trish! You continue to amaze so many with your strength and your unbelievable FAITH. We are all so very blessed that you have chosen to share Ashley's story and your heart with each one of us. What a blessing to know that so many others share in the good times and in the tears. Isn't that what serving the Lord is all about! Sharing one anothers burdens! You are a shining example. We continue to pray for each one of you....esp. Dave as he travels to Omaha and then for you as you go to Dallas. We also pray for the rest of your family that is fighting illnesses themselves. We need God to restore the Adams family and we know He is able to do just that! Love and Prayers!
Hi, you don't know me (I followed a link from another blog) but I read through your blog earlier today and have been praying for your family. I'm the Mom of two little girls myself and I can only imagine how hard it must be to have a little one so sick. I'm praying for wisdom for you and peace as you make decisions, and for improving health on all fronts.
Trish, I am so glad that when life is out of our control that it is still in His control. Praying for all of you. Praying that God will lead and direct the meeting on Friday. Praying for Dave to have a safe trip. See you in the morning. Sleep well. Goodnight!
I'm sorry to hear that she's still miserable, but SO glad the early results have come back with no bad news.
I'll be praying that you, Trish, are able to get some sleep tonight and clarity tomorrow as you make decisions and get ready to approach her team with your thoughts and findings. I'm also praying for your entire family--that the ones who are sick get well quickly, and that you and Dave don't get even a hint of a germ!!
Peace over you all, especially sweet Ashley.
Praying for comfort and peace and wisdom..........Praying for rest for you both.............Praying for safe trips for you this weekend and for Dave............Praying for the doctors..........Praying, praying, praying!
I just want you to know that I just came from falling on my face before God on your baby's behalf. I prayed that He would give you both a restful night. That he would give peace to Ashley no matter what the days ahead hold. That God would ease her pain and discomfort also. He reminded me that He is the Great Physican...He will work on all of your families best interest. He holds that baby in His hand. Sleep tonight in peace:)
Trish....I am praying for Dave as he travels & am so glad that you are going to be with Blake & Allie... ( I know them being sick throws a big kink into the mix....but I am praying God will protect you & with precautions taken....keep you from getting ill yourself). I don't know your unspoken request but I pray that it is something.....that if ...it will be of help to Ash....God will astoundingly Confirm in your hearts & minds as you pray & we pray for these unspoken decisions to be made. I pray your visit with your older ones will be so precious & so ...enjoyable to you. That you will not stress or worry about Omaha ....or Ash...( as hard as that is to fathom)...but that you will just "be"...soak in every second away with your two older babies....I pray that GOD will give you rest...& you will be renewed....rejuvinated sp? & ready to help Ash fight...fight..fight....when you return. Dave I will be praying for you ....for your tender heart as you enter your daughters room & hear her crying.... I pray for your ability to function on little sleep.... for every decision to be made for both of you.... I pray....I pray...I pray... Love in Christ....
Heavenly Father,
I just come to you now thanking you for your goodness and your mercy toward us and for showing it to me SO CLEARLY the past couple of weeks. You have humbled me so much through the many revelations you have granted and I thank you. Please search my heart and rid me of any sin that's there so I can pray for Ashley with a pure heart before you.
Lord God, I just thank you for the preliminary test results, but more importantly - that the outcome of Ashley's struggles are already determined despite the reports. Lord I ask you humbly in Jesus name to please grant peace and rest to Dave and Trish tonight. Please give them the clarity of thought they'll need tomorrow to know your will for them in meeting with the doctors. Give them the words to speak, I pray. Please grant them both safe travel this weekend and bless their short time together to be full with meaning and memories. God, I ask you to please give Ashley just a few hours rest and reprieve from the pain so she can gain strength again, if You will. Please help the technician interpreting the results of Ashley's tests so Dave and Trish can make decisions based in reality. Lord, I pray you would put kindness into the hearts of everyone there at the transplant center. Parents get so very tired and worried, and doctors and nurses must deal with seeing so much suffering as a routine part of their every day. God I thank you for Ashley. For all we are learning from "the least of these. --- A little child leading." Thank you for loving us. Thank you for having the whole world to do with what You will, and choosing to bless. In Jesus name, Amen
praying for wisdom concerning this "unspoken"...and also praying for safe travel...and wonderfully enjoyable reunitings by everyone....if reunitings can be considered a word even. anyway...have a great weekend doing something "different"...and revel in HIS PEACE.
Praying for blessed sleep...quiet, soft prayerfully wonderful sleep that only God can provide. Praying Ashley has a wonderful sleep tonight. Loving you guys in TN!
praying for you and ashley and your family.Godspeed Dave.
My heart breaks under your heaviness.
Having a baby with congestion is scary, one with a high fever is scarier but both will put a Mommy straight in touch with God for healing. I can only imagine where all the new fears go with you. I am sure you feel full and over flowing and yet you keep dealing. One thing is clear. Ashley has put you on your knees before God on a regular basis. That is the only place your peace will come from.
I recall a hard time in life worrying over my daughter and her husband and a few things that were breaking my heart. To shreds. i prayed and I worried and I prayed and asked God and I worried. During church, my tears were coming and I am prideful and want no one to see me cry and I walked outside, opened the car door, leaned inside and I suppose you could call it falling on my face before God. I sobbed out to Him...and said "I cannot do a thing and I am scared and I ask you to take this situation..." and on with my prayer. When I raised up, my burden was lifted. I weighed less, I know I had to because I was free of a heaviness that had my shoulders drooped, my face down. He took the fear, the burden, the weight of it. I have never worried as much again since then for them. I can honestly say, God took the problem when I admitted I had no strength in the matter. No say and no way of helping. I moved over and made room. I have felt the miracle of 'letting go and letting God be God'
Also, I know the two of you will make good decisions about your Gherkin. You love her with your whole hearts. You are trusting God.
I pray for your rest. I pray for your peace of spirit.
Good night, I love you all,
Jan
Praying for you all today, I pray for Dave to have a safe trip out to you and Ashley, I pray for your other kids health to improve, I pray for the Drs to have wisdom, I pray for Ashley to find some rest and comfort, I pray for you to have strength, and I pray for God to show you signs or answers to all the tough questions you are facing.
LIfting you up to Holy Hands as you work on your requests. I pray for your confidence in speaking with the team, I pray for your diligence in your research, I pray for your health this weekend as your duties as Mom take you outside of Omaha, I pray for Blake and Allie as their bodies heal, I pray for the wonderful grandmothers in your family's life, I pray for Dave as he travels and prepares to physically enter AShley's presence.
So many other specific prayers...just wanted you to know yet another person you've never met is praying...diligently for your family.
Kristi in Texas
Praying for the unspoken!! Lifting you all up to Him as so much is going on in the next few days...we are constantly thinking of you all. Love ya!!
Staci
Please know that you are being lifted to the Father. We will continue to pray for wisdom...and healing...and for special moments to share. We'll also pray for divine protection from the cold and flu bugs floating around as you spend time with Blake and Allie.
Much love,
Karen and family
Praying for safe traveling this weekend for your family, that you stay well and about the unspoken prayer request you have made. I hope you both had a restful sleep last night. ~chandria~
Ah Trish. I'm praying for you, girl. Lord, hold this little girl in your loving arms. Surround Trish with your presence and breathe your strength into her heart and her body. Fill her with Your love, Your spirit, Your wisdom. We need you Lord. We are weak, and you are strong. Your are able to carry us through this situation.
Well, Mom and her Sunday School class wanted to give you and Ally some time at a day spa as a surprise. We thought that Blake would be with Dad, and that it would work out perfectly. So, while it appears that plans have changed, and this would probably not be a good time to do this, please know that their hearts were eager to give you a relaxing day with your daughter! Since reading the post, we realized that everyone was sick, and Blake would be there, and we figure you won't want to spend time away from him, which is completely understandable. However, if you think it might work out, even if only for 2 hours or so, please call my mom and let her know. She was really busy today meeting with several customers, and asked me to give you this message and her cell phone 903-841-2788. They would have liked to give you both 4 or 5 hours at the day spa, so if you can do this, any amount of time you want to do is ok, even if it's only a 30 minute massage. Hope this all makes sense.
Our hearts are heavy with you.
All our love,
dee
Praying for wisdom as you make so many huge decisions, and for rest and comfort and better health for all of you.
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