Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


Is it really morning?

I couldn't be happier to have last night behind us. It was by far the most miserable night in more months than I can remember. Ashley's bowel locked up around 10pm and my panic level rose by the hour. I prayed and prayed and prayed and begged for it to open back up. She was miserable. I can't even describe it. At one point I had to get Dave up and ask for help. She was screaming, clawing, fighting and I was crying and crying and crying. I had seen this happen to her before and I knew that it could open back up, but I've also been standing by her in a hospital bed when it didn't. I was so very scared.

Her tummy was hard and tight, rumbling and rolling, her stoma was bulging and I knew there was an intense amount of pressure building and the longer she was locked down the more miserable she would be. It was not fun.

But... this morning I walked into a beautiful sight. Stool. I know that may not sound beautiful, but when you have memories of what it can be like when the bowel stalls or gets an "ilius" you WANT to see free flowing stool. So I was so grateful, so incredibly grateful that the Lord heard my cries last night and that her bowel was flowing once again. She was peacefully sleeping and stayed that way as I cleaned her and her crib up. Once she opened her eyes I could see a small sparkle and the sight of that blessed my heart. She looks SO MUCH better this morning. Still not well, but not in pain. Its the knowing she's uncomfortable part that kills me. I hate to see her hurting.

The other good news is that she hasn't v______( i hesitate to even put it out there) yet this morning. Could this be the day that her little body starts to kick this thing? Please let this be the turn around day. Please.

It is no secret that I'm on edge this week over Ash. We all are. The kids are nervous. I'm nervous. Dave refuses to worry and I so wish I were more like him in that way. Still I'm trying to keep up with my responsibilities and commitments outside of the house. Again I will be coaching basketball practice today, tomorrow I will attend part of Blake's game and then head over to our home gym to coach my team against a tough opponent. Friday we have to have our things moved out of the temporary space we are operating in and moved back in to an unfinished office space. We will be working to get it functional for our patients while working around the crews and try to get things back to normal there. We also have a commitment to work at our schools annual fundraiser on Friday evening. I don't see that we have any other option but to be there and do what we committed to a year ago. I still don't have a sitter confirmed to sit with Ash for that event. Knowing she's sick makes me nervous leaving the older kids in charge of her. Life is busy and we like it that way. I'm just trying to keep my sleepy self going this week until Ash gets through the roughest days of this setback and I can find a moment or two to sleep.

Thank you so much for your prayers for Ashley Kate. As always your words of encouragement help me to keep going.


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