Negatives

The calls began coming in about 11:30 last night. The word on the cultures is gram negative. Negative is the feared word when dealing with central line infections. Add that to a central line infection that cannot be removed without taking her life from us and its a bad combination. I don't know, as I never do, where this infection will go or what it will lead to. I do know that we fight it. That is what we do. We fight back against it and defy it to take her from us!

Ashley is home. Sleeping in her own bed. She in all honesty is better than she was yesterday morning at this time. No fever, no trembling, very little vomiting, and she slept soundly all night. I am grateful for all of those things in spite of the gram negative cocci and bacillus that has invaded her. She is beginning to third space. I hate that. Her eyes are swollen shut this morning and she's tired. Refusing to wake up. Just rolling over, pulling her blankets up over her, and shaking her head no each time I tend to her. I plan on letting her sleep as long as she needs to.

Her vitals are all strong. Really strong. I'm amazed at how "good" she looks. Things in the gram negative world can change quickly and we know that. Usually children are admitted immediately with a gram negative, but with Ash its different. She wants to be at home. She needs to be home. We've done this before. Lots of times. She's better at home. Heals quicker. Rests better. As long as we have the means and the ability to safely care for her here then that is the plan and our physicians all understand that plan. We are keeping a close eye on her. Watching her respiratory status closely. Monitoring her every hour.

So once again we slip from our happy place to our not so happy place. As long as we can slip right back over then I'll be alright. There are just no other alternatives for our family. She will recover. We will get her well again. She will laugh again. Your prayers are appreciated. I'll keep you updated on her status as the days progress.