Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

1/28/2007

Sweet Moments

I had the "privilege" of staying awake all night to enjoy my sweet Ashley. Around 3:00a.m. I finally decided it was me and her, in the chair, for the night. We rocked and rocked and finally by 3:30 she began to quiet her whimpering. We sang and we talked and we spent sweet moments watching the minutes tick by on the clock. I began to close my eyes for a short time and when I would peek at her she would be quietly staring up at me. I wish knew what she was thinking. The look on her face was so precious. Her cheeks all pink and puffy, her eyelashes, her tiny mouth, she was sweet. These are the moments that I want to seal away inside of my memory to never forget. Just me and Ash. Nobody else. I am so thankful that she kept me awake to enjoy some very private, very precious, times together.

I love my sweet Ashley so very much. As we sang and rocked I could feel her begin to slip into sleep. I was afraid to move her. Not only because she might wake up, but also because I wanted it to last forever. She is beautiful and last night although I was exhausted I am so grateful I was given the opportunity to enjoy how He created her. Every little detail.

Dave and Allie are enjoy sweet moments together too. He did attempt to fix those "zig zag crazy buns" yesterday and she was allowed to do her own make-up(at 8 years old). I had to get off the phone before I lost it. I begged him again to ask a mom to help with that hair do that even I can't get right. He told me it was under control and that he Allie were handling it. I am so glad she has a dad like that. The two of them are perfectly content to be cheering on there own without mom telling them how to do things. After the competition they grabbed Al's close friend and they were off to the Main Event to spend the afternoon goofing off. They had a great time and when I talked to her on the phone last night she told me she and dad were just hanging out in the hotel together. I am so glad they have this time together.

Ash's kidneys are making urine but her BUN is still too high. During rounds they are trying to decide if they should change her anti-rejection medication. Ash is four months post and has not had any issues with rejection so they think it might be safe to try a med that is easier on her kidneys. All of this talk makes me nervous. I just want to keep her organs safe. Kidneys included, but it seems that to make one happy it becomes harsh on the others. What a difficult balance her tiny body requires. I know that God knows the right combination that is required to keep it all going. I am going to take a deep breath and pray that He guides them to make the right decision for my Ashley.

Ashley is now sleeping and making sweet sounds behind me and I would like to join her. I pray that you all have a wonderful day. Thank you for checking on our Ashley today. Have a blessed one. Trish

3 Comments:

At 11:37 AM , Blogger Ashleigh said...

I was just catching up on the past few entries after being offline for the post part the past couple days. It is good to hear that her kidneys are working better--but praying for the BUN.

Though my baby isn't sick, I can completely relate to those moments where time seems to stop and we take a thousand mental images, wanting to never, ever forget. It must be a desire we acquire the first time we hold our children... knowing that none of us are guaranteed them for long, and the ache to never forget a single moment of the time we do have. Praying for you, Trish. There is so much I just can't imagine...

 
At 3:12 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trish, I think the post at http://www.xanga.com/a_blessed_servant/566134808/item.html might be of great encouragement to you. Everything written there could be echoed, I'm sure, by post of the people who visit this site.

 
At 3:42 PM , Blogger Krista said...

It sounds as though you started to feel better. I know it is hard to handle all of this but you are doing so well and you dont even realize it. it is ok to cry, you are human, but You are also a Godly mother and you know when to be strong and when it is ok to cry. You are giving it to Christ and that is what you have to do. I pray for strength in you this week as you approach the decisions to be made with Ashley. You are a wonderful mother and you are doing what is best and you have always made the right decisions with her. Have a good day and enjoy the rocking.

 

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