Another Restless Night

Sweet Ashley Kate is miserable and cranky and tired. Again she did not sleep and again she is paying the price. I wish there was something I could do for her. Her little body is making her crazy as she claws and scratches and tries to escape. We were forced to enclose her hands in socks and tape them on and then to use IV boards around her elbows in order to keep her from removing her new central line. It looks like cruelty, but it is for her safety. The next step will be restraints in order to keep her safe, but I hope it doesn't go that far.

Overall I think she looks good. She continues to require blood transfusions every couple of days and potassium bolus'. She is waiting on her blood now. She came up from the OR with a nasty scratch across her nose that she continues to claw at making it bleed. She is swollen and puffy and from the sounds of it she will be for quite a while. Her tiny, petite face and features are disappearing from us again and for this mommy's heart that is sad. I want so badly to get her back home and back to her normal routine where she sleeps all night in her crib in her nursery. These sleepless nights are taking a toll on us both. I actually slept through rounds yesterday morning. Apparently I drifted off while waiting for them to come down the hall. No one woke me up until it was over when they asked me to sign the consent form for the line placement. I hope I wasn't snoring or drooling! When I did open my eyes there were about 12 people standing around our little room staring at me. I was MORE than embarrassed and apologized to our surgeon this morning. He just laughed and said no need to apologize, but I still wonder what they must have said. From the sounds of it even if we avoid the OR we are going to be here for "weeks and weeks". I don't like that statement very much, because weeks and weeks is sounding closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm not sure if we can celebrate another Christmas here in this room. I pray we amaze them all and go home SOON.

Again its a weekend here at the PICU and that makes for long, long days. I miss Dave and the kids the most during the weekends. Dave is actually at a seminar in Dallas, Blake is headed to Texarkana to play baseball(not sure if thats is in Texas or Arkansas), and Al is playing soccer in Longview. Busy days for our family and I am sad that Ash and I can't be there with everyone. I asked Blake to "hit the ball to Omaha" and he just laughed. Al promised to try and score a goal for me and Ash but doesn't if she will be able to because their opponent is undefeated. "Until today", I told her. IF and when Ash decides to fall asleep then I am going to run the laundry race this afternoon. She is completely out of her sheets and pillow cases and we are getting low on blankets too.


Thats all I know for now. Your presence here is comforting to me and it makes my days happy to here from you all. Thank you for leaving your comments of encouraging words. I feel like I know you guys by now and it is nice to hear from my "friends"(even if you are imaginary). Anyway, have a great day and enjoy your families. Take care. Trish