His Hands, His Feet, His Voice
For I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you took me in. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me. The King shall answer, "In as much as you have done it unto one of the least of these you have done it unto me. Matthew 25
You have reached out. You have given . You have surrounded us in your love and prayers. You have visited. You have written. You have encouraged. You have lifted us up. For each and every act of kindness bestowed upon us you have been His hands, His feet, His voice. For this I say thank you.
Never have I known such love and such community. Since Ashley's birth I have seen first hand what it is to be a part of the body of Christ. Because we hurt, you hurt. Because we rejoice you rejoice. It is an amazing thing to be loved by this group of people. I will never be the same.
Ash is shiny clean and all tucked in. I hope she feels like sleeping tonight because this mommy sure does. We had a good day. We rocked for a while. We played and read books. We enjoyed an episode or two or maybe three(whos really counting?) of Blue. We visited with dear friends who were sent our way. Your time here with us was more than a blessing. Thank you for going out of your way to come and see us.
Ornery(I meant to say sweet) Ashley Kate attempted to pull out her new central line. She removed her ostomy bag. She clawed her tummy until it bled. She pulled out her hair and she scratched her ears until they bled. She is fighting to control her shaking and irritability, but unfortunately she is losing. She thrashes in her crib and yells at me. I feel so bad for her. If only she understood what was causing her to feel so yucky. Her blood loss has stopped. She is now only shedding old, dark blood into her ostomy. That is good news. I was really scared.
I'm still battling this feeling I have that things could turn around at any moment and we could be on our way home. I need to be real, but I so badly want to take Ash back to our little yellow house in Texas. God continues to show me new things about Himself, His people, and His plan each day that I am here and for now I think that I am supposed to take it all in. I still cry. I still wonder. I still struggle, but overall I know He is working. Today I choose to remember that there are kind, loving, selfless people in this world and for those He crossed my path with I am grateful. Thank you again, and again , and again. Good night my friends. Trish
posted by Ashley @ 9:14 PM
42 Comments:
Trish,
I hope you and Ash are getting some rest tonight. Not sure what to write tonight. Just thinking about all of you and thanking God for His goodness. What a huge light you all shine in the midst of so much crisis! I know you have weak moments, human moments, but if ever anyone doubts our God's power, strength, love... you are such a beacon for His example. I am grateful for your faith, your obedience and your heart for the Lord. May the measure of faith He has given you continue to bless all those who come in contact with you.
Lisa
I feel she's being healed, slowly but surely. I hope she sleeps tonight so her mommy can be refreshed too. So glad you have your own room and peace and quiet, that's what she needs. She's quite the little angel, that we have come to love. God bless.
Good night, sweet Trish. Surely God smiles upon you both with His favor as you show the true meaning of His love. (((hugs)))to the entire family. Praying.
So glad the bleeding is letting up! Maybe I will sleep better tonight, too! Precious girl. I am so sorry she doesn't understand all she has to go through. I suppose she thinks most of the world is just being mean to her, and I am so glad she can open her eyes after every night or nap and see the Mommy she knows and trusts. She may be mad at you sometimes, but I know that your presence there makes a world of difference.
I am praying for rest and for the side effects of the meds to lessen. The picture is precious. Sleep well.
It cracks me up that she can be so innocent and so good for a while and then get into so much trouble! Can't help but love her!
May sweet dreams and restful sleep be yours tonight. Love, Lou Ann
I was asked, "don't you have enough to do?" when I passed along Ashley's story and said this is a family that I have been praying for they could use your prayers too. That question really bothered me, I truly believe that I found your blog for a reason, I have been so blessed. It is hard to read sometimes and know how sick Ashley is my heart breaks for you all, but I have loved every minute of her spunk and spirit and seeing prayers answered. I just know that I am not going to get to Heaven and try to explain to God that I didn't pray because, "I already had enough to do". It is my pleasure and I am honored to pray for Ashley and your family, during the day and in the middle of the night!
Praying,
Beth
PS I love the pink glow on her toe in the picture - it looks like she's in a storybook where some magical(divine) transformation is about to happen!! Lou Ann
Ashley, We continue to pray for God to touch your little body and heal it. We know that we serve a God that is the Greatest of Physician's and the He is able to do just that. We are so thankful for this blog and the fact that we can come here and know exactly what to pray for daily. Thank your mommy for sharing so very much with other believers so that we can be specific when we pray. I pray that you and your mommy get a good night of sleep and that someone in Omaha has maybe brought her some nice fluffy towels to dry off with in the morning. I have grown to love you and can't wait for you to go back home to that special yellow house in Longview. You and your family are in my prayers tonight and in the middle of the night when the Lord awakens me to pray for you and for others that are in need of prayer.
I just want to eat her up she is so adorable! Been thinking about you all day. Not sure I have a whole lot to say but I can tell you this, I ANXIOUSLY wait for your posts. It is so funny, I will check first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to bed at night, just to see how little Ashley (as well as the rest of the crew) is doing. We sure love you Miss Trish!!! One of these days, when I am down visiting my parents in Houston, you are going to be at your little yellow house and we are going to have to meet for coffee...I'll even bring a Blue's Clue's video ;)
And yet she's as cute as ever! :) Praying as you endure a difficult night ahead and hoping you are both able to rest some.
d
I wake up many times during the night so I will definitely be praying!
Trish I am praying for you and Ash especially tonight. I wasn't able to get on the computer today but I just had you two in my heart and I am so glad that God put you there. Know that I will not stop praying. We love you guys! ~Chan~
I remember when I had my Ashley and had to be in the hospital for months with her. I remember pleading with GOd to just let me take her home and I will do anything you ask. Before going home I had to wait and wait for several months. So I know what that is like and also the fear in the waiting when so many things would go wrong and I had to make decisions that were so hard to make.
I can relate to all of your feelings which make me a better prayer warrior for you and your family. I count it a priviledge to do that because I can relate to what you are going through and all the emotions.
May the father give you both a peace tonight, may he calm Ashley's little spirit down so she doesn't rip at her body. May you feel the peace he so graciously gives to his children because I know you are both wrapped in his strong loving arms.
I am praying.
I know my Father is listening.
Awake at 3:15 am and prompted to pray. God is faithful!
Looks like she feels more content/refreshed after her bath and mommy's TLC. I love the way she puts those little arms behind her head like she's kicked back and relaxing. She's such a sweet pickle. I pray for healing and strength for you and your baby. Prayers and thoughts from the east to the west always. Amanda from Myrtle Beach
Loving and praying!
We'll be here!
xo, Heidi
Praying you had plenty of rest and your soul is renewed for the day. Praying the Ash was a sleeping princess and that her tiny body begins to heal. That picture is so sweet. I love the hands behind the head and crossed feet.
May God Bless YOU today.
Ashley is adorable. I hope you both were able to rest well and be refreshed for the new day. Would you post again a place to send mail to you? Praying for your children back home and dh too. Ashley,the family of God loves you ! You are our baby too and we want you better and home. Hang in there guys:) Colleen
"My love language is gift giving and nothing makes me happier than to give a gift and be a blessing so I completely understand what you are feeling."
For me, you have given one of the greatest gifts of all. Sacrificing your privacy and sharing your pain has given me a new outlook on life as I am in the midst of what I thought was a major crisis ... facing the loss of my career and losing everything I own. Those things that I used to think were a major problem are no longer. You, Ashley and your blog have made me realize that it is the little things in life that truly matter...love, friendship, caring, sharing, the comforts of home...not work, material things, money or wealth. As I've followed your blog daily for a while now, my greatest wish for you has come true and that is I finally see the peace you are feeling in your writing and that you now allow yourself to be human and not a Christian "machine," a true sign that you know God/Creator accepts, understands and loves you as you are. Please know that your pain and suffering have not been in vain but have touched and healed the lives of many who may have never been touched or healed had it not been for your journey. I have learned and continue to wish you, Ashley and your family absolute peace, knowing and understanding that God/Creator is in control in the midst of it all.
Ashley is so cute this morning! Looks like she is feeling a little more chipper.
To the last blogger:
I lost everything once too and it is a big deal. I lost my home, my security, my job, and the considerations I had at that time, over a few years, were not healthy. It left me a little sadder, a little wiser, and I learned how to be alone with just me and learned I was "ok company" That was my most valuable lesson and I wish everyone could "get' that one. It makes a difference. You hang in there and keep your life clean and don't go down with the rest of it. Time will help you and God will give peace if asked. I recall asking not for peace in general or graces for awhile, but grace for a "few minutes at a time" to get through.
Yes, your loss is great and God is Greater. I will think of you in my heart for a long time.
Keep your smile. They can't take your face off, too. :)
Dear, dear Trish, one of the most beautiful lines you have written, and I read them all, is: ...and I quote you.... " I am still being taught the lesson of letting go and just allowing God to do what He is going to do." You are a very wise woman, My Dear, a wise and loving mother. God is love, trust Him!I love you and Ashley, and Allie and Blake, and daddy David. May God help Ashley to endure the pain that she is going through. Hugs to All
Hello,
I do not want to be anonymous anymore! I feel accepted here and want to express to all of you my thanks! Thank you all for praying for me and my mother! I hope that all of you, Trish most of all understand that i do care about Ashley very much. She is beautiful and i love her! I will pray for her in my own way though. I really do not know how to "pray" but i guess there is no right or wrong way! It has to come from deep inside. How can i believe so much in praying when GOD allows little Ashley to suffer so much? This is the part i do not understand. She is so innocent and doesn't deserve to be 2 years old and living in a hospital. She deserves to be a carefree 2 year old loving life with her family. This is what i do not understand. I am Jewish, i have a certain believe system in place. I was never taught the correct way to pray and that makes me sad. Anyway, today i will think about Ashley and keep her in my heart. Thats the best i can do!!
Michelle
Praying for Ashley this morning as I wonder how the night went.
To Michelle, it is obvious you have a very tender heart. The only reason this "community" can accept you is because Christ first accepted us. I too am praying for you and your mom. You are loved today.
Thank you Trish! I pray that you and Ashley had a restful, peaceful night and I pray for a restful, peaceful day.
Holding you close to my heart. Thanking God for all His goodness and His many blessings.
Love, Jule White
Thinking of and praying for all your family today...we love you. God Bless
Trish,
I am not a woman with Great words to give you. I read other comments and these women have awesome ways of expressing things. All I can tell you is Ashley is truly loved, she is a Part of so many families across the country and so many Prayers are going out for her and all of you. Not a day goes by that my office, and my house , does not check on that little one. We love you.
Praying for you today.
Did you hear that Trish? Our Jewish friend has broken her anonymity and is praying. Perhaps that is what this is all about? Teaching us how to pray and praise. Jesus is being glorified Trish. Thank you, Michelle, for breaking your anonymity. I will continue to pray for your mother as well as for Ashley. Judy
Our God is an AWESOME God!!! He is working in so many ways through you and your family. Ashley is absoultly ADORABLE! The girls and I are still praying each day for Ashley. My oldest has started talking about her and asking how she is throughout the day. She is coloring pictures for you, Trish, and Ashley to make you feel much better. I will send them in hopes they bring a smile to your face! Everyone loves a good "squid" person drawing right!!! 4 year old art at it's best.
I get a song in my head every time I check in on you, I can't ever remember all the words but here goes...
" I cry out for your hand of mercy to heal me.
I am weak I need your love to free me, O Lord , my rock, your promise never fails me. For you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me."
Just be glad I can't sing if for you!
My sweet baby girl is in the hospital and struggling, too, but I believe and miracles do happen. Ashley is the most deserving of a miracle I have ever seen. I am sending up prayers for her comfort and healing. And for you too!
Starting this new day praying for Ashleys' body to feel calm, numb if necessary to get relief from the reactions she is experiencing. And for you to find rest Trish. Don't let the hope you have of getting out of there soon, go. Hope is good.
And to Michelle, It is good to hear from you. You know, there really is no set way we need to have to pray. I just talk to God all day long while I fold laundry or wash the bathroom, or work in the garden. He just likes to hear us talk to Him. No fancy words, just a conversation from our heart to His ears. And He loves you just as you are. We all carry Ashley and Trish in our hearts, and now we can carry you and your mom in our hearts too. I don't understand why Ashley must go through this hardship, but she is and it has brought so many people together here to care and encourage, being thankful for the blessings we have. I am so thankful you feel welcome here. It is not a members only club, it is the body of believers who care for this family and choose to walk beside them in HOPE.
Love and continued prayers,
Laurie in Ca.
WOW!! What an awesome little family this community has become!! Isn't it great to see Gods work in action right before your very eyes!!!! I must admit that when I read the comment from anonymous yesterday the first thing I wanted to do was to post a comment in response......however....Gods index finger kept tapping me on the shoulder as I typed....I knew it was wrong to lash out in anger...so instead of posting a "tongue lashing" to anonymous I just stopped typing and didn't post...I think I knew deep down there was more to her story than what appeared on her post. I checked in a couple times throughout the day and WOW looked what happened......I mean I knew this blog has touched me more than I could ever explain.....but just look at all the good things God has done here!!! I can't help but get excited!!! What a fun family reunion we will have in HEAVEN one day!!!
Trish,
Every time I come to this sweet site to check on you and your Ashley my heart is moved.
Your sweet spirit shines through and blesses me. Isn't it us who is suppose to be uplifting and blessing you?
Please know that through this very hard trial in your life God is doing wonderful things through your Godly witness and uplifting attitude regarding this very hard trial you are facing.
I continue to pray for you and your sweet little Ashley.
Warmly,
Julie
God is working here - it is very obvious!
Michelle - I'm glad you are no longer "anonymous"! Will keep your mom in my prayers. And by the way, there is no "right" way to pray. Simply talk to God - he knows your heart.
To Wendy - I'm sorry your little girl is also in the hospital. What is her name? I will pray for her to be home again soon.
Trish - I hope all is going okay today and that you and Ashley are resting. I always get a little nervous when there is no update - but I know you will let us know how things are when you can.
It wasn't by accident that I stumbled across Ahley's story. It was a divine intervention. I count it a joy to include Ahsley, you, and the rest of your family in my prayers. It still amazes me how often I found myself thinking about you guys throughout the day and night and stopping to pray at those moments. And I will say it over and over, but your testiomony it such an encouragement to me. Today I pray that God will continue to work His will through Ash's life and that He may be glorifies in it all.
- Cari in Arkansas
What a cute picture! She looks like she's thinking "Go about your business now, I'm busy!" So cute! Praying the next couple of days pass quickly so the medicine can be done and gone after doing it's job.
michelle, i encourage you not to worry about how to pray. when i hear beautiful, eloquent prayers using all the "right" words and phrases it can intimidate me. but i have come to realize that God doesn't require that from me. what he wants is simply to hear my voice. He wants to have a relationship with me through my conversations with Him. i can talk to Him just like i would talk to a good friend. my Jesus taught me how to pray. i don't know why a sweet baby like Ashley has to suffer or why your mother is allowed to be sick but i do know without a doubt that if i didn't have the faith i have, my questions would haunt me. i am at peace without knowing the answers. praying, trish, for the next few days to fly by and for Ashley's sweet personality to emerge and her hurts to fade. God bless, jan431
Jan431 Thank you for helping me to understand. I think the power that is here is making me feel the love that everybody has for little Ashley. It's a very powerful thing, this thing called prayer! It brings together perfect strangers and makes us feel like family. I feel like everybody here has my mother's back. And in turn i have all of yours!! Especially, Ashleys! I feel humbled by all of your prayers. I will pray for Ashley in my own way! Not continuiously but when my heart is full. Thank you all so much!! Everything is always ok in the end, and if it's not, then it is not the end!!!
Michelle
michelle, do me a favor. whenever you find yourself thinking of ashley during the day, just whisper to God to keep her safe. amazingly, i think He will be bringing her to your mind more than you could expect! and keep us up to date on your mother's progress! jan4321
Michelle, so good to see you commenting. I think jan4321 has given some good advice on prayer and I think she is right and I will try her suggestion, too.:) My heart is breaking for you Trish. I am so sorry. Judy
And yes, Michelle, keep us up to date on your mom. We want to know. Judy
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