Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

3/23/2007

Just Us Girls

Tonight we are on our own. Just me, Allison, and Ashley. It is just us girls. Dave left for a conference that had been on the books for months now (although I tried and tried to get him not to go) and Blake is at a friends camping out for the night. So that leaves me and my girls. Can I share with you how very fun it is to say that, "My girls". I love the way that sounds. My sister Toni has always been the one we referred to when talking about "the girls", but now I get to share that phrase with her. God has given me above and beyond what my heart desired. To be honest with you it makes me a little sad to be apart from Dave and Blake. We have officially spent one week together since coming home from Nebraska and although it has had some difficult and stressful moments(all concerning the remodel) it has been nothing less than a dream come true to be a family again.

Speaking of dreams, last night I dreamt of my Ashley Kate learning to walk. I know that most if not all 19months old have already mastered the skill of walking, but my little one has not. In my dream it was the sweetest moment. She was holding on to my hands and taking her first steps. The look on her face was priceless. The dream was so very real to me I woke almost believing that it had actually happened. I don't know if she will ever be able to walk. I do dream about it, hope for it, wish for it, and pray for it to happen, but the reality of her life is that she may never stand or take a step on her own. I can't quite figure out why she isn't able to use her little legs. No one has ever really addressed the problem. Ash has had far too many other more pressing issues than standing or walking, but it is something I hope to help her figure out to do in the future. To say that it is not difficult to be on the outside of the hospital where I see others toddling all around me would be lying, but honestly if all she ever is capable of is sitting perched on my right arm then I will be thankful that she is here with me to "perch". Whether or not she can walk or run she will be all that she was created to be. She brings me such joy with every single moment that I spend with her. I can only try to imagine the joy she must bring to the Father's heart as He looks down on her. What an amazing little person she is. She is sitting more and more on her own. Today she actually sat on a quilt surrounded by her toys as I walked away and sat behind her on the couch. She never even realized I had let go of her and that she was there alone. She busied herself exploring her things and once she was tired she allowed herself to fall back on her pillow and drifted off to sleep. How proud I was that she can sit there unattended. My heart was bursting with gratitude. I can't imagine how it will feel if she is ever able to stand and take a step.

Well, I think I am going to go crawl into bed next to my Allison. It is so sweet to be able to cuddle and hold her. The smell of her long hair just drifts into my soul. I watched her tonight and admired her beauty and the growth I have seen in her during my absence. She has matured into a precious young lady whom I love with my whole heart. Still young enough to be silly, but old enough to want to be taken seriously. What a wonderful age. We have planned a little shopping trip together tomorrow just as soon as I dismantel some moldings and remove a couple of doors. I managed to escape injury tonight and I didn't even break a nail. To tell you the truth I was more worried about that than ending up with stitches, but I came through my adventure with all ten fingers still manicured and looking good. God is so good to me. Good night guys. I will talk to you all tomorrow. Trish

4 Comments:

At 5:30 AM , Blogger Alison said...

Sounds like exciting times for you over there!

Continuing to pray and enjoy your updates!

 
At 8:32 AM , Blogger Grandma Cathy said...

Trish,

I would say that this dream was from God telling you that someday your Ashley will walk. It is amazing what this little fighter has fought through, God is doing great things through her story. Hang in there, and enjoy hugging those girls this weekend!! Have fun shopping. You are a remarkable woman of God, Keep trusting!

 
At 11:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and praying for continued healing and a quick remodel somehow! Enjoy your weekend & just think she is sitting up on her own!!! Who knows what's possible?? All things are possible through Him Ashley! Colleen

 
At 2:53 PM , Anonymous amy borden said...

I love these posts. The ones that show answered prayers in the form of snuggles with your girls at home. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

 

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